The Fabulous Life of Deb

2010-05-03T19:45:00.001-04:00

one downside to working downtown... falling in love with clothes i'll never be able to afford

2010-03-02T15:10:00.001-05:00

In honor of the Olympics, Sam decided to recap some of our Vancouver trip. Honestly, it was simply too long for me to bother with (I think she did it while at work though), but perhaps I'll try to write the second half of this this week...

Living Happy Healthy Lives

2010-01-27T22:48:00.001-05:00

How much do you think a dog wheelchair costs?

$50, $100, $200? Try $400 and that's not including shipping and handling. Would you believe that this is actually a competitive price and that there are more than one or two companies out there that make these things.

Poor little Roxie may end up needing one. Several months ago (give or take 4) Becca showed me some videos on youtube of corgis (who look like Roxie's twin) running around in these crazy wheelchairs. Becca laughed and said it would be Roxie's luck to end up like that in her old age.

After two holidays in a row where Roxie broke her toenails on my mom's floor from dragging her paw, I was beginnig to wonder if this was to be her fate. And, I just came from the vet and it seems this really might be the case. We'll be getting x-rays soon to confirm.

Becca was worried what people might think when she takes Roxie to the dog park. I told her not to worry about it because quite honestly I don't think dragging a cart around will even phase that dog... so long as she still gets to run around and bark at people.

It all makes sense...

2010-01-18T22:50:00.036-05:00

So, me and my new friend go outside and begin chatting about the usual things. You know, where I’m from, what I do, yada, yada, yada. And then, being the good conversationalist that I am, I turned the conversation to him. “So, where are you from? Here?”

“Well, originally I’m from here, but right now I’m living in Surrey. But I still work here some."

“O, really, where do you work?”

“Well, NOW, I’m a chef around here.” Something about the way he said NOW really had me curious. “so, what did you do before?”

“Before? Before I used to sling rock, strapped with an M16, right here on these streets."

“O, you used to sling rock… did you say with an M16?”

“Yeah, I used to sling rock with an M16. These streets are rough around here. It’s a rough life dealing.” Jesus, where are we right now? Is it even safe for me to be standing outside this bar right now? Am I going to get shot? (Side note: Just to clarify, this guy had a sexy, almost Irish accent, so I still wasn’t completely turned off by this.)

“But, you don’t sell anymore though, right?

“No, no. That was actually why I moved to Surrey. I just had to get out of here, you know. I don’t even know how I ended up in that situation. I think it was the money originally, but then you just kind of get caught up in the life you know.”

“Yes, I could see how that would happen. I’m glad that you don’t do it anymore though.”

“Yeah – I just found myself spiraling downward. And, I guess I didn’t even realize it until I hit rock bottom – I was nearly shot to death.”

“O, my God, that’s terrible! Well, I’m really glad you’re not doing that anymore. So, you’re a chef now? How do you like that?”

“O, I like it. Really, I’m just trying to save enough money to get away from it all. I want to travel – to see the world."

“I looove travelling – I think it’s probably the one thing I love most.”

“Where else have you travelled?”

“O, all over. I’ve been to Europe, Asia, and Canada (smile).”

“Really? I haven’t been anywhere. What was your favorite place?”

“Thailand. It is hands down the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen.”

“Wow, that sounds awesome. “ there is a long pause “you should travel the world with me.”

“Now that would be awesome. In fact, that is my life goal. But, unfortunately I really don’t have the money for that.”

“You don’t need any money. I will pay for everything. I want you to come with me.”

“That definitely does sound appealing…”

“It’s settled then. In a year or so when I have enough money we’ll travel the world.”

“It’s too bad I don’t live here.”

“Where do you live again?”

“Chicago. It’s a great city.”

“Well that could be nice for awhile… hmm… I wonder how I’ll find you.” (In my head I’m thinking phones are the obvious answer.) “I guess if it’s mean to be, it will be.”

Or that, “Yes, if it’s meant to be it will be.”

“O, and there’s always Face book! Are you on Facebook?”

Ah yes, the old Facebook, “yes, of course I’m on Facebook.”

“Well, it’s settled then. We’ll go to Thailand and travel the world as soon as I have enough money.”

“Perfect.”

And we then went our separate ways. Looking back, my first question is how on earth he would ever save enough money on a chef’s salary – but I suppose if I think about it I can answer my own question. I also love that Facebook was the answer to all our problems – even though I never gave him my name, or at least not my full name. With that being said, I wouldn’t have been overly surprised to find an new friend request waiting in my inbox for me when I got home, I mean it is me we’re talking about.

2010-01-04T08:35:00.001-05:00

The Q101 radio guys are doing a 2010 death draft...

Today is the Day

2009-12-30T16:02:00.000-05:00

Guess what kids. After a year and a half of bitching and moaning, and literally fighting with the man, I finally get to move... yes, to a window seat. In fact, after weeks of some subtle and not-so-subtle hints, Keith actually let me pick the exact cube I wanted (which is of course the one least in direct eye sight of anyone walking up).

Just goes to show what a little determination will getcha.

Life of Luxory

2009-12-23T17:09:00.000-05:00

I've had a down comforter since I was about 14 or so. I visited my gay uncles in New York and had the best night's sleep ever, thanks in large part to their wonderful down comforter and fabulous sheets. It was then that I decided that if they could live in luxory, why couldn't I. I managed to bug my mom enough that she did indeed buy a new comforter for me that very winter (now if only I had convinced her to get rid of the hard as rock twin bed I was sleeping on).

My only complaint with down comforters is how lopsided they can become within their cover. As I was just now placing my new pretty blue duvet on my bed, I realized that their are strings within the covers to actually keep them in place. What a brilliant idea! Makes me wonder if they've always been there and I just never paid attention or if this is the first duvet cover I've had that's been of high enough quality to contain strings. Perhaps I've actually been missing out on more of the luxory quality than I realized.

Excellent Commercials

2009-12-09T11:27:00.005-05:00

Only My Holiday...

2009-12-07T22:13:00.000-05:00

My last trip home to Springfield went incredibly smoothly and I made both trips in 3 hours and 10 minutes. I should’ve known that streak couldn’t last.

The plan for Thanksgiving was for Becca to head home after her early dismissal to pick up the babies, and then to head over to my work around 3:30/4:00. Unfortunately the plan started off poorly thanks to the rain and some random road closures so Becca didn’t even make it home until 4. Nevertheless we packed up the babies and all are stuff and made our way home.

The first 20 minutes or so were rather peaceful. But, then little Ares became restless and started whining, which continued for the next 45 minutes. Becca thought he was lonely in the back seat so she put Roxie in the back and let him sit on her lap instead. This still didn't really calm him down, and he continued to whine and fuss in the front seat. To make matters worse, little Roxie had become fed up with Ares's antics and began barking to express her frustration.

So here I am driving 2 mph in the rain with one whining dog and one barking dog. I threatened to pull the car over (and in hindsight I wish I had).

All of a sudden Ares launched into the backseat, choking Becca in the process with her seat belt. So now Roxie is barking even more ferociously at Ares who has landed on top of her and Becca is now cussing at her annoyance and frustration at the whole thing. And, I am simply trying to concentrate on driving. Now Ares has managed to climb up into the back windshield and is trying to get out. The next thing I know Becca is screaming, "did you shit! did you shit!" and then I smell the most foul thing I think I have ever smelled. Apparently the smell also startled the dogs because Roxie immediately jumped in her cage, followed 2 seconds later by Ares. How those two dogs (who really don't care for each other) managed to squeeze into Roxie's tiny little cage I'll never know.

So now I find myself driving in the rain with the windows completely down, struggling to keep myself from vomiting while Becca yells at me to pull over. And while getting out of the car sounded very appealing at this exact moment, my fear of being hit on the side of the road during rush hour was still much greater, so I proceeded to drive the 2 miles to the next exact, which seemed to take an eternity.

Eventually though we do make it to a gas station and we all burst out of the car gasping for are. I tie little Roxie up and then go look for something to clean the car, meanwhile Becca walks Ares who craps 3 more times.

Cleaning supplies were limited but I managed to find a $6 can of Lysol spray and $4 roll of paper towels. As I'm checking out, the cashier asks, "will that be all?" I say, "actually, no, that isn't all... I really need to borrow one of your cleaning bottles you have over there... we sort of had a mishap." He let me borrow them with the promise that I would return them.

Amazingly enough, Ares managaed to miss all of the random stuff we had in the backseat (like my clothes) and made the bulk of his accident on his bed and Becca's leather backseat. So, she was actually able to get it clean. I had to make one more request from the gas station employee and that was for some garbage bags to wrap up Ares's bed in. The employee dropped what he was doing and left the place unattended for a couple of minutes to grab me some bags from in back - and he still hadn't asked what happened.

While this whole incident was pretty bad, it could have been worse. As we're cleaning up this big van rolls into the gas station with a completely flat tire, followed closely by a squad car. When the driver gets out, the cop immediately asks if he has a drivers license. The hispanic drivers shakes his head no, to which the cop promptly asks if he has citizenship. Again, the poor driver shakes his head no. "Oooh, so that's why you didn't stop and kept driving on your rim, you didn't want to meet ME!" I'm not sure what ended up happening here. I saw the driver later inside the store and the cop left, so maybe he wrote him a ticket. Or, maybe the cop decided to spread some Holiday cheer and let the guy go. Eitherway, I think his evening was probably quite a bit worse than ours.

Anyways, the rest of our trip went pretty smoothly (except the fact that it took us a full 5 hours). We stopped 2 more times to let the dogs go to the bathroom. Ares went both times and we eventually learned that he apparently ate a whole box of kleenexes at some point that day.

Moral of the story, if your dog is incessantly whining in a car, pull over just in case.

The World According to Americans

2009-12-05T21:41:00.002-05:00

Tis the Season to be Jolly

2009-12-02T15:11:00.004-05:00

Remember back when I used to have awful run-ins with the mail lady - well now my conversations with her are usually fairly entertaining. She is usually just so damn blunt you can't help but laugh. So, today's conversation goes a little something like this:

Jodi - God, you always look so damn happy.

Me - (thinking to myself... is she serious or sarcastic... I didn't realize I looked happy or unhappy) out loud I say O, do I?

Jodi - Yes, you do. what's the deal? Did you get a promotion or something? Or a raise?

Me - No, I unfortunately haven't gotten either of those.

Jodi - well what then, did you just get laid? and then she cackles to herself.

Me - Ummm, no.

At this point someone walked in thankfully. I mean, how do you answer that? And what on earth does this woman hear about me? First she says she pictures me as the slutty type and now this. Whatever, entertaining for sure.

Kristie's Traumatic Tale

2009-12-02T11:04:00.003-05:00

Kristie sent me an email this morning that was simply to entertaining not to share. As a little back story, Kristie has probably the worst anxiety about "dangerous" situations than anyone I know. When we used to carpool together she had a minor panic attack anytime a plane flew overhead. Nevertheless, I think this situation would've freaked me out a bit too.

So this morning I get to work, the sun is shining, I’m having a really good hair day, my purple shirt looks amazing, my ass looks sick in these pants and overall its a pretty great morning. I get to work early, make some calls to my speakers for next week and then decide to go down to get some Starbucks. So I get on the elevator and for once I’m the only one in there. (Let me pause for a second to say that I HATE riding in elevators with other people because I feel like I should always say hello or compliment the other people on something random because standing in such close quarters makes me uncomfortable…so needless to say being the only one in the elevator is pretty exciting for me and is only adding to my awesome day.) Anyway, I am in this elevator and I hit the button to go down to the lobby when all of a sudden this elevator starts going WAAYYYY too fast. Immediately I think that of course, that the elevator broke and I’m going to plummet from the 39^th floor where my office is to the basement level where the elevator will crash and I will probably die. So obviously I start to freak out. The first thought in my mind is to start pushing every emergency button possible to stop the elevator. I start pushing literally every button and nothing is happening. Then I think to myself, well this isn’t working you should brace for impact. My mind then races through all the various poses that would best sustain life upon elevator crash and I decide to go with getting on my knees hugging the hand rail while I continue to push emergency buttons. So there I am, alone on my knees in a crashing elevator with my eyes closed frantically pushing every single button on the panel. This ride feels like its about ten minutes long. I mean, I am LITERALLY on my knees here trying to remember any movie with an elevator crash to see how I could possibly survive when all of a sudden, DING, lobby. The doors open, I gracefully stand up and slink out acting like I didn’t just have a minor heart attack and a major anxiety attack and there are two workers out there waiting for me. “Is everything alright? We saw that you pushed the emergency button and heard you screaming” (for the record I was hardly screaming, AT MOST I said “oh god” a few times in a semi-frantic voice.) Now I’m just really embarrassed so I try and act cool and say, “What? Ha, no I’m fine. I was on the phone; I must have pushed the button with my bag but thanks for checking.” They just smiled and I went to get a coffee…I will never ride the elevator alone again.

Remember life before cellphones?

2009-11-29T00:54:00.007-05:00

Well, I do. This summer my new phone was stolen, and, since I didn't have insurance, I was forced to use my old phone. Well, my old phone is literally a piece and shuts off randomly - sometimes when I'm in the middle of a conversation. But, at least it was a phone.

Anyone who knows me knows I'm a bit of a techy. Naturally, this side of me wants a super nice expensive new phone. Unfortunately, if you're not at a point in time where you can renew your contract, these new phones are at least $400, which just isn't in my budget. I had been debating what to do about the whole situation when my mom learned last week that my sister's phone line is up for a free phone. Excellent - I'll only have to use this crappy phone another week.

Two days later I accidentally knock my phone off my dresser and it shatters. The battery flys off and the flip part breaks off - permanently. This is Sunday. I kind of freak out at this point that I might have to go without a phone for a week. But, after thinking about it I realize it's only a week, and I'll be home for half of it so I won't even need one that badly.

Well, it's been nearly a full week and I have made it. And, it really hasn't been that bad. However, there have been at least 2 situations that were extremely annoying since I was without a cellphone. I'm supposed to get one tomorrow morning though, so hopefully that will be the last of them.

Now for the ironic part. Tonight Hillary's sister was looking at my busted phone and randomly decided to dial her phone. It rang. My phone actually worked. The whole week I've had this busted phone with me (several times I even tried to put it together) and never once thought to see if I could dial out or receive calls. Typical. It's especially amazing that the battery lasted a whole week. I guess it shows how much battery the LCD screens eat up.

Seatte - Part 1

2009-11-18T19:58:00.010-05:00

Day 1

The flight to Seattle was fairly uneventful, especially considering half of my office was on the flight. The only thing worth noting was how weird my boss acted around everyone at the airport. and that he and other director practically sprinted away from the group at the baggage claim (presumable to avoid sharing a cab with anyone). Fine by me – but the whole thing was made especially funny (and awkward for them) when I rolled into the same hotel like 4 minutes after them (everyone else was in another hotel).

Setup at the convention center was going surprisingly ahead of schedule. And, Sam had made friends with one of the union guys so he kept giving us the scoop on Vancouver and how to get there. He actually seemed kind of shocked that we were going to Vancouver for so long, and this attitude seemed to carry over for the rest of the trip. Nevertheless, he gave some good tips – only regret is that I didn’t ask him for details about their cafes because I’m sure he would’ve known.

As the day winded down another coworker, whom we never hang out with, rolls over and asks if he can hang out with us because he was trying to ditch his crew. Obviously we couldn’t say no, plus I figured this would be an excellent opportunity for gossip. How right I was – guy hung out with us the rest of the trip and provided plenty of new gossip and contributed to several new fun stories.

For dinner the three of us made our way to a little Mexican restaurant where we had fish tacos and plenty of Margaritas. Halfway through dinner Sam noticed our AV guy sitting at the bar. Naturally, I ordered a shot for him, and it was highly entertaining when he got it. So, Asa came and sat with us and told us story after story of fellow coworkers. It’s amazing how much dirt someone who works peripherally for a company for so many years can gather. And, Asa is a master impersonator and even used to stand-up, so the stories were that much better.

Day 2

Set-up continued to go really smoothly and we finished in record time. With several hours left in the afternoon, we went to Pike’s Went to Pike’s Market for the second time in an attempted to catch a picture of them throwing fish this time. No such luck.

Then when Sam decided to be lame and head back to the Convention Center (yes I said that) I sat in the park for a bit by myself and enjoyed some people watching. After a bit I began getting chilly so I decided to go somewhere and read for a bit. Although we had passed the first ever Starbucks, I opted for a more appropriate 4pm venue and headed to a local pub, Vons. On my second beer, I pondered whether it was sad that on day 2 I was sitting at a bar by myself – I decided that it wasn’t since I was doing something a little productive like reading.

That night we decided to have dinner at the famous Seattle Space Needle. It was really a full proof plan to gain a great dinner and a sightseeing activity out of ASPS in one fell swoop. Overall it was a fairly good experience but truly not worth the money (but thankfully it wasn’t my money) – LaSandra’s pork was undercooked and then the waiter spilled an entire glass of water on Sam. But at least we had an opportunity to get a bunch of great pictures for Flat Max (a cardboard cutout of Rhonda’s nephew that she has been carrying around for the last 2 weeks).

Day 3

Fairly uneventful day. We went to the PS2009 Welcome Reception that evening and took tons of random pictures throughout.

Day 4

After 3 long days and 2 full days of work, Lindsey and I were planning on having a low key dinner and movie night…

Or at least until one of our meeting planners, AWs, called Sam to see if she wanted four free tickets to a soccer game that night. Obviously I was game, and with little effort, I managed to talk Lindsey and Jerime into accompanying me.

After 10 minutes of the game, they both knew they'd made the right decision. And after 20 minutes we were all official Sounder fans - we even have a scarf (thank you ASPS for the souvenir).

The Sounders won in the last 6 minutes or so, so it was quite an exciting victory. Naturally, we had to go out and celebrate. This several fun stories, but none should really be shared here (sorry).

Possibly more to come but this is it for now because I wrote this weeks ago...

Day 5

Rhonda tried to set Sam up with the GES man who has been married for a year. When Sam informed her that the dude was married, RoRo replied with “so, what does that matter.”

I love how concerned Rhonda is over our love lives.

Day 6

At about 7 am I got a text from Hill saying that her flight was actually scheduled for 9pm and not 9 am. Not a pleasant wake-up call.

I found out that amongst the 300 other things I am allergic too, I am officially allergic to cardboard. Yes, cardboard. At the beginning of the trip I broke out so bad Judy had to give me like 6 Benedryl. I thought it was a fluke but it happened again today after only a half hour.

My Band is Magic

2009-11-05T09:23:00.002-05:00

So while we were in Vancouver I made everyone watch some more literal videos. There were quite a few good ones, but this was by far my favorite.

I will try my hardest to get a real post up soon :-)

Armed and Dangerous in Arlington Heights

2009-09-17T15:09:00.004-04:00

So right now I’m sitting in lockdown.

I’m sure you’re wondering where I’m at and what exactly I mean by lockdown.

Why, I’m sitting in my lovely cubicle in lovely Arlington Heights, listening to the sound of choppers flying over head, of course.

Apparently today some bank robber overtook 2 armed police officers, stole both of their guns, took their clothes, and then made a break for it – in Arlington Heights. His first act of freedom was to steal a getaway car from the Meijer’s parking lot. His second act of freedom was to ditch said getaway car in a parking lot. The parking lot right next door to my building to be exact.

Needless to say the ever-quick cops were on the scene in moments. (Well, I have no idea how long it took them to get here, but I’m giving them a little boost here since 2 cops have already been given a bad rap in this story.) Right now there are about 9 police vehicles next door, all with extremely large weapons. There are 2 cops in our parking lot, and about 6 more in the apartment complex behind us.

Stay tuned folks for the latest breaking news. I don’t really see any TV vans (I’m guessing they’ve all been driven away), so I really might have the latest breaking news.

Sure am glad I decided to come into work this afternoon.

I emailed Dow with this story and he responded back with this, “Sadly…I might be able to match that. An employee of ours was fired two days ago and has apparently threatened to shoot up shoot up the place. The cops were here earlier and there is one stationed on our floor now. Crazies all over…”

Update (2:45): they now think he is in one of the apartment buildings behind us.

The Untouchables

2009-09-13T20:19:00.004-04:00

On Saturday a group of us decided to play tourist for the day and went on a Gangster Tour. The tour was pretty cool, but it was kind of hard to stay focused on the story since you were often looking at buildings that no longer existed. With that being said, there were some memorable highlights.

The bus driver asked us all if we wanted insurance when we got on in case anything bad were to happen. We had an odd number of people so Becca, Hill and I all squeezed into one seat. When the bus driver spotted this, Becca told him not to worry about it because we had bought the insurance.

A good portion of the trip was spent driving around Chicago from one location to another. At one point, they decided to play some Italian opera music to fill the void. And, the tour guide decided to dance up and down the aisle singing and playing a Barbi tambourine. We tried to get Becca to dance with him, but she didn't get up quickly enough.

As we're rolling through Lincoln Park after touring the St. Valentine's Day massacre, I happen to spot Kristie on the side of the street! So we all waved until we caught her attention, and then she started jumping up and down with excitement. The whole thought of someone walking out of a bar and spotting 5 of their friends randomly on a black school bus was absolutely hysterical. Hillary and I were laughing so hard we were crying. Needless to say, this was by far my favorite part of the day.

Sidenote: I really hope that my boss asks me tomorrow what I did this weekend. He already thinks I'm random as hell, and I think this will just be the icing on the cake.

Thanks to the government

2009-09-04T09:38:00.003-04:00

So I'm at Target last night shopping for our camping trip this weekend and this 10 year old girl picks up some of this Canadian sparkling water and brings it back to her older sister's shopping cart (although upon reflection I suppose it could've been her mother). Anyway, the older person shook her head no and gave a look that said "you know we don't need that." The little girl shrugged and said, "eh, it's on the government."

Obviously the little girl won. Several minutes later, I heard skipping around asking "who else wants water, I got it covered."

Again, Targets on the west side just aren't the same as in the suburbs...

Concert #3

2009-08-27T00:42:00.003-04:00

Concert #2 was John Legend at Ravinia and was better than Rascal Flatts, but not better than #3, simply because we arrived too late (an hour before the opener started) and were forced to sit on the side on a semi-hill. With that being said, John Legend sounded great and when I caught a glimpse of the screen he was sexy, so I would definitely like to see him again. But enough of that, this is the story of #3.

I went with Becca and a group of her friends to see Cold Play at Alpine Valley, which is just over the boarder in Wisconsin. Alpine Valley is one of the few venues that still allow tailgating, so we decided to head there several hours early to participate in the festivities.

As we're getting out of our car I notice that the man in the van catty corner to us looks a lot like this guy at my work. A lot like this guy I hate at my work.

Now I know what you're probably thinking here - I hate a lot of people at my work. But, that's just not true. Since the recent layoffs the list had actually dwindled (sad but true), and ironically this guy had actually just recently made his way to the top of my list (lucky him).

Anyway, I look at him and get a sense of dread, but then quench it thinking that there is no way in hell that this one coworker happens to be at this one concert out of the hundreds of thousands of people in IL and WI. Besides, even if he was at this concert, there was no way that out of the thousands of people here that he would be right next to me.

But then his wife called out his name while he was parking the car. Yep, it was definitely him.

So, I sucked it up and went and talked to him. You may be asking why I didn't just ignore him. That simply wasn't an option - he was litterally sitting 3 feet from me. You reallly can't ignore that.

O well. It wasn't too terrible. And, Becca's boyfriends concurred that he was a tool after listening to our 3 minute conversation. Love it.

Reason or Randomness?

2009-08-27T00:34:00.009-04:00

I believe in both God and in karma, and all of my life I've held firm to the belief that all things happen for a reason (mostly because I prefer this over the thought that we live in a random, chaotic world). With that being said, it really does seem like I get more than my fair share of bizarre happenings and/or misfortunes (maybe not the best word, but whatever).

So, that leads me to two options:

I've done a lot of bad things, or rather maybe I've put people in bad situations, so karma is biting me in the ass to teach me a lesson.
God is actually amused at my response to all of these random acts so he just wants to see what I'll do next. Or, perhaps he thinks that one day I will write a best seller from one of them.

I imagine it's probably a combination of both. And here are two fairly recent stories by which to explore the possibilities...

United Breaks Guitars Song 2

2009-08-20T11:04:00.000-04:00

Cool Trick

2009-07-28T13:44:00.001-04:00

Did you know that if you hit Ctrl + Alt + the down arrow key your computer screen turns upside down! Try it out.

Water Skiing

2009-07-26T21:18:00.002-04:00

After 4 or 5 attempts, I finally made it up!

2009-07-21T23:47:00.001-04:00

its pretty damn coool when you can leave one concert and get home to hear another one loud and clear at ur house...

2009-07-21T17:39:00.001-04:00

why on earth does the city allow parking on addison during rush hour? it just doesn't makee sense

Concert #1

2009-07-20T14:56:00.000-04:00

This weekend I saw Rascal Flatts play in Wrigley Field. Now while I’m not usually a huge country fan, I am a pretty big fan of this particular band, so I was pretty excited about it.

So how was it? Well, let me just say that if you’re ever considering seeing a concert in Wrigley Field, you should save your money. This was probably the worst concert I’ve ever been to. The sound was terrible and we couldn’t see a thing. They put up like 2 tiny screens on the field so no one in the stands could see it. And, to top things off, the stands shook very badly from everyone dancing around – honestly quite scary. The worst part is that the stupid tickets were $50 each (especially when these seats only sell for like $36 to an actual game). For $50 I usually expect to have halfway decent seats…

United Breaks Guitars

2009-07-09T10:03:00.004-04:00

Here is a link to the full backstory

Why does everything seem to happen at once

2009-07-08T20:22:00.002-04:00

For the past year or so, it seems like very little in my life had changed. Every time I met up with an old friend it found myself responding to the age old question of “so what’s new” with “nothing.” Same apartment, same roommates, same job, same position, same commute, and same guy situation. And, it didn’t really seem to matter how much time had passed since I last saw this person.

And then, in the last three weeks it seems everything has changed. And I suppose by everything, I would be including the lives of those closest to me.

I suppose it all really began back in May with Hillary – she received a promotion at work, and moved out to the burbs because she couldn’t stand the commute to her new job (and likely need a good excuse to get out of her current roommate situation). Obviously this is exciting news, but a little sad that she no longer lives so close and can grab Tuesday night cocktails (but who am I kidding, we rarely did this before).

Then in the beginning of June little Becca got engaged! And, while this was not real surprise, it is still very exciting. And so has begun the endless wedding plans. I’m pretty sure she’s going to try and get us much planned as possible while she has the summer free. (On a side note: I’m watching their dogs right now while they’re in Cancun for the week and I immediately think of all the thousands of times where I heard how terrible the life of a teacher is…)

Anyway, our lease was up at the end of June so Becca and I prepared to move. She and Ashley found an apartment in Des Plaines, and I decided to move in with my friends Guti and Alex up in Wrigleyville. I definitely loved living with Becca and I’m glad we got to do that one more time. And as much as I loved living with her, I was absolutely positively done with Mike. I actually came extremely close to burning all of his shit.

And then came black Tuesday when my work laid off (slash fired) 11 people, which is a lot in a company of about 80 people. While I none of my close friends were let go, with a company that size I naturally knew most of them quite well. On the day they let everyone go, it seemed that they were selecting one or two people from every department, yet no one had been cut from Marketing yet. So, naturally we were all a little on edge (and there was a lot of speculation that Rhonda was not on a business trip but had been let go). But, as it turns out that to save our entire department, our VP moved me and Lindsey to other positions within the company. And while I was definitely glad to still have a job, both my Director and VP were out of town all week when this was announced, and for some reason none of the men knew what was going on (surprise, surprise ;-)

So, my new position is in the Research Department and Lindsey is in Membership. Now research seems like it would make sense for me, but as the department currently exists they are primarily responsible for fundraising and corporate support and obtaining grants for our doctors to conduct research. But, I’ve since talked to my new boss and what he has in mind for the position seems pretty cool and I think I’ll like it. No details for the job are hammered out at all yet, but I’m definitely going to try and get myself a new title and salary to go with it! (and if they don’t hurry up with any of it, I’m just going to make up a new title and start putting it on everything – and the title will certainly be one step above whatever you need to get a window seat)

Speaking of window seats, a certain Director was also demoted during this whole thing, and she has been moved downstairs in the busy area (presumably where people can keep an eye on her). It’s been really quiet and kind of nice with her not sitting over my shoulder, but it’s also a little weird.

So, with being changed to a new department, I found myself swamped all of a sudden. Naturally this couldn’t have come at a worse time since I was in the middle of moving, but whatever. It was a rough couple of weeks at the end of June, but it’s over now and things seem like they’re calming down. Work is better already and I’m already close to being unpacked (thanks to some help from my roommate). And I had an awesome weekend last weekend – went out downtown, Cubs rooftop, boating and then a pool. I also think that I’m really going to like living with my new roommates. I’ve hung out with Alex now a couple of times and I made plans to go to Rascal Flatts with Guti in 2 weeks.

Funny story – last night I text Alex “where do we keep the toilet paper?” His response: “Guti and I don’t use TP. We just had it there for guests… we just rinse afterwards. U should too…” The sad part is, I couldn’t decide whether or not he was joking. Alex didn’t seem like the completely joking type, plus they are both Hispanic and I kept thinking back to the Asian frat house and the little oddities I learned there. Eventually though he came home and asked me if I tried rinsing… and then he busted up laughing.

2009-06-28T18:08:00.003-04:00

I swear that every year half of the city decides to move on the same two weekends. Last weekend in June and last weekend of July. Obviously it makes sense since everyone's leases always seem to be up in the summer - I'm just not sure if that's based on people moving up here after graduating college or because no one in there right mind wants to move during the winter. The whole thing kind of reminds me of college move-in weekends.

2009-06-26T17:59:00.002-04:00

i'm riding the bus home and the man next to me smells awful... and it would be way to obvious if i moved

Sunday Funday

2009-06-21T20:54:00.004-04:00

Apparently Mike is having a mini party this afternoon/tonight. Right now there are about 15 or so cute guys in my kitchen and porch. Now, while I might be annoyed if they all stay here really late (and by late I mean past 10), my main concern is where have all these boys been for the past year and a half. I mean, I'm a fun, cute, single girl right? Mike could've hooked a girl up.

I feel like if I'd met Mike in different circumstances we could've been friends. All of his friends are cool and he does fun stuff, too bad he's so damn passive aggressive and just plain odd.

2009-06-19T12:57:00.001-04:00

so power is out at work and they let most of us leave early... to bad all the roads are closed

It's moving time!

2009-06-18T21:21:00.003-04:00

And now I'm selling all the crap that has been here for the past year.

First of many: VHS tapes

Total Eclipse of the Heart

2009-06-16T22:04:00.002-04:00

I first saw this video on WGN last week (of course)and then I saw it again at a bar we went to after volleyball last Friday.

The Fourth Roommate

2009-06-11T09:51:00.003-04:00

In the past year I have never seen anyone answer our house phone, or even use it. Over the last couple of weeks though I've noticed that it has been off of the charger quite a bit.

So, I'm sitting her on my couch and our phone rings, which is no surprise because it does quite frequently -usually bill collectors or someone saying something in Spanish (and one time I swear it was a drug dealer). Anyway, my roommates girlfriend is apparently here (as always) so she answered it and then began having a conversation with someone in Spanish.

So now my question is, will she really randomly strike up a conversation with anyone, or is she having her calls sent here now. I mean, I don't even know what our number is and she's getting calls???

Side note: yesterday she walked into the apartment when Kristie was here by herself and the first thing she asks her is, "Are you a flight attendant?" What? No, who are you, or why are you here, just are you a flight attendant...

What are the odds?

2009-06-06T10:41:00.003-04:00

What are the odds that my sister would be one of the several thousand people in the US to have the swine flu? I'm sure the statistical odds aren't very good, but if you factor in that it's Becca I imagine the odds at least triple. Here is her email from earlier this week: "so as it turns out, the teacher whose classroom is right next door to me and also got really sick starting the weekend of labor day had swine flu. her test results came back today. i only wish that i could have gone to the doctor myself to prove once and for all that i also had it. at least everyone at work believes me." Personally, I believe that she probably contracted this just to top my recent allergy diagnosis.

What are the odds that my house would be robbed? What are the odds that we would be robbed if my idiot roommate leaves the backdoor wide-open for four hours while no one is home? Considering Paul's grill was stolen last week; people have tried to break into Paul's house; we've had our tires slashed; and Mike's bike was stolen I feel like the odds are actually pretty high. When I write all of that out for one year it really kind of sounds like we live in a bad neighborhood. O well, at least we weren't robbed last night. And, hopefully Mike understands that I do not want the door left open again.

What are the odds that Becca's boyfriend, Ashley, would randomly run into Katie Friday at a bar in Chicago? Better question is what are the odds that he would actually talk to her long enough to learn that she was from Rochester and knows us? I'm assuming that once again the odds are extremely high. Also, what are the odds that Katie would've looked at renting my apartment (the first one with Kate) when she first moved to Chicago? I'd actually already heard this from Darcy (I think), but I don't think I knew Katie was to be her roommate. I suppose both of these instances just give more weight to the It's a small world after all phrase.

Brunettes - All American Pin-ups

2009-06-05T15:49:00.005-04:00

A couple of weeks ago I bought a fun t-shirt at this new store on Milwaukee. I’ve been waiting for a good place to wear it, so this morning I decided I would just wear it to work. Now, I’d like to point out that my work has no dress code, especially on Fridays. But to class it up I did throw on my nice jeans and some heals (and I went ahead and did my makeup).

However, when Becca saw me this morning she chuckled and said “nice shirt” or something to that affect. I defensively asked what’s wrong with it and reminded her that we don’t have any dress code. She then took back her comment and decided I looked cute.

Well, I made it until about 9:30 before someone said something. Who said something? Rhonda of course. And why wouldn’t she; she is the epitome of proper etiquette.

Anyway, I apologized and told her I didn’t realize we had any sort of dress code here. She said we do. And I said “o, so sweat suits are part of the dress code then?” She sighed and said she didn’t really like those either but that my shirt was just too t-shirty.
(Side note: there is another women of our department who has literally worn gym clothes for the past 3 months, and yet she has said nothing to her.) She did however compliment me on my nail polish, so looks like last night was put to good use.

So, not ten minutes later, Sam told me my shirt was cute! Naturally I informed her of our new dress policy and that apparently I am in violation. And, naturally Sam was annoyed so she wrote a nice blog about it. I'll be sure to keep you posted of any new updates to our dress code here.

Thank God I'm moving soon

2009-06-04T16:36:00.002-04:00

I swear to God every time I clean the bathroom my asswhole roommate decides to shave in the sink and not clean it up. Funny thing is, I swear this is the only time he does it. It's like he read some book on how to piss off girl roommates and just works his way through the list. I can't believe he actually thought we would maybe live with him again. The air/heat alone was more than enough to do me in. In fact, if I'd had any inclination that he was the one who messed with the heat, I never would've lived with him in the first place - I always assumed it was Dave b/c Mike complained too. Whatever. I'm so over this place.

Hopefuly the next roomies work out better. I don't suppose they could really be any worse than my last two though (excluding Becca and Hillary).

2009-06-03T08:07:00.001-04:00

according to the Red Eye, today is National Fist Bump Day

You just don’t see that in New York

2009-05-31T23:15:00.006-04:00

I figured my last post deserved an entire entry. Actually, my entire day yesterday deserves an entry…

Luda was back in town this weekend from New York. Yesterday afternoon we decided to grab dinner and drinks at the Boundary, and since it was gorgeous out we obviously sat on the patio. Just as we began eating, two men walked in with their extremely large dog. It was taller than our table and made right for out tator tots (and why wouldn't he), and the owner seemed to struggle a little to hold him back. My first thought was that it looked like a damn wolf, but this was quickly dismissed because no one has wolves in the city and they certainly wouldn't bring them to a bar full of people if they did.

After awhile some random girl bent down to pet him. What caught my attention was her saying "oh look, the little wolfy has some bacon." Wolfy? What do you mean wolfy? Does she think he looks like a wolf since he is really too large for a Sheppard or does she know something I don't? I decided to clear things up and just ask the owner.

"So that's a German Sheppard right?"

"It's 25% Sheppard."

"O, what's the other 75%?"

"Wolf." Wow, that really clears it up.

Our conversation was cut short because the "dog" jumped up to chase after some poor random man on the sidewalk. The look on my face must have been priceless though, and the friend informed me that the dog was purchased for $1,000 from a local breeder. While I've never looked into purchasing a dog or wolf, this actually seems like a fairly reasonable price.

All in all, the wolf was actually pretty well behaved, especially considering it should be a wild animal. The only real problem was that for some reason unbeknownst to me the owner refused to hold its leash, so it would try to chase people/dogs from time to time.

Shortly after the wolf discovery, I witnessed money falling from the sky. Literally. So I kept an eye out, and the second time it happened I saw three people throwing money out of their second story apartment window. Kristie's theory was that these people had a lengthy debate about what people would do if they saw money falling from the sky and so they decided to "make it rain." I believe they used singles, so no huge monetary investment was made in this little experiment. I have to admit, I was a little jealous that I hadn't come up with the idea and that I only live on the first floor so I won't be able to recreate it.

Side note: I have a new favorite summer drink thanks to our fabulous waiter – the John Daly, which is an Arnold Palmer with alcohol. Kristie's smoking buddy informed her that it is named after a drunk golfer. You should really check it out.

2009-05-30T18:48:00.001-04:00

i'm sitting at the boundary... next to a wolf. it's taller than our table and its owner just let it chase some random person.

2009-05-29T18:45:00.001-04:00

maybe its just me... but shouldn't semis be banneed from the city during rush hour?

2009-05-23T11:30:00.001-04:00

old navy has $1 flip flops. nice except its 10 & this one is already sold out and the line is at least 60 deep...

2009-05-22T08:01:00.001-04:00

After last fridays commute i decided to give the train another shot...

2009-05-21T19:13:00.003-04:00

It's hot. Why am I the only one that seems hot? When is it hot enough that I can turn on my air? If damn Mike hadn't come home at noon the air would already be on. I hate sweating when I'm sitting here trying to watch TV.

The World Wide Web

2009-05-21T10:27:00.003-04:00

Listen to what I just found out - Virgin America now offers internet for all passengers on all flights (starting Memorial Day). I had heard before there was a plane doing this for over seas flights, but I wasn't sure which one. And, I'd heard that the problem with not having it was never with the technology, but rather with the actual internet and cell phone companies arguing over service issues and such. I can't remember who told me all of this, but I think it might have been a doctor during one of my chats at the bar during one of the last meetings. He also told me that our cell phones will work up there now, but that if you use them you will receive a huge, huge fine for the afore mentioned reason.

Now where did I hear the Virgin America news - Oprah of course. Her whole show today is skyping people in random places. My question here is how much money is Skype paying Oprah for all this product placement or is she just doing it free b/c she loves them now or something? And, I wonder if Virgin was free or if that was a product placement?

2009-05-18T12:30:00.001-04:00

my allergist is promoting weight watchers right now...

2009-05-14T00:12:00.001-04:00

Sweet - I just figured out how to text here. now I have something to do during the commute

Of course this would happen to me…

2009-05-14T00:01:00.005-04:00

After 4 years or so of suffering, I've finally decided to get tested for allergies. Now for those that don't know, allergy testing consist of 2 scratch tests where they literally scratch your arms with a knife, then drop different liquids on to them and wait to see if you have a reaction.

Monday was my first visit and I was tested on all of the airborne and household contaminates, plus a little food. Obviously I was allergic to most trees, mold, the stuffing found in furniture, and kerosene (not that that matters since it's not really used anymore). The only food I was allergic too was wheat, which of course is the type of bread, beer, and pasta that I buy. And, the most ironic – I'm severely allergic to cats. The funny part here is that I've always told all of my roommates that I'm allergic to them, even though I never had any real proof that I was, simply because I couldn't bear the thought of a litter box in an apartment. And, after being in Hill's apartment with Mo's 2 cats I realize my concerns were not in vain, but nevertheless, I obviously jinxed myself.

Today was test 2. Now I scheduled it for 9:15 and was assured that it would only take a half hour. Since I knew I had a 10:00 meeting at work, I made sure I was a little early. Unfortunately, the doctor did not do the same. At about 9:22, the nurse said she would go ahead and start under the assumption that the doctor was surely on her way (and after my promise that I didn't think I would die from any of the food they were testing me for). "Great," I say, "I really need to be at work by 10."

So the nurse began the procedure of coloring me with marking and then cutting me with a little knife. About half-way through one of the receptionists informed us that the doctor was on her way. Excellent I think – I still have plenty of time. Just as the nurse is finishing the last drops, she stops and stares for a minute or so, until I finally ask her what's wrong.

"I, um, I think we did the wrong test."

"Um, what do you mean the wrong test?"

"Well, I did you for airborne. You were supposed to have food today right."

"Uh, YEAH." Of course this would happen to me. I now stare down at my arms with the hundreds of black dots and tiny cuts, and the now tiny bumps that are already starting to form – o, I almost forgot, and the long, thick, red lines where she circled all the numerous scratches and tooth punctures Ares so lovingly gave me last night.

"Would you mind if I did your back instead? I mean, you're arms are already full so we can't use them." (obviously)

"No, I guess not. I'd might as well get it over with while I'm here." At this point I realize I'm going to be late to work, so I call Sam. The nurse then offers to write me a doctor's note. I tell her it's not school; it's fine.

At this point the doctor still hasn't gotten here and she's now at least 20 minutes late. But whatever, I follow the nurse into this tiny room and lay down on the tiniest examination table I've ever seen in my life – and why wouldn't it be tiny since little kids are the only ones who have it done on their back to make sure they sit still the whole time. Seriously though, this table was so short that neither my head nor my legs fit on it, and the room was so small my legs had to lie at a diagonal angle – it really must've been a hilarious site. So the nurse finishes and starts her timer.

Halfway through the doctor had finally appeared and so I passed my waiting time listening to the odd conversations she was having in the other room. I honestly think she was talking with someone about purchasing clothes they had brought in, which immediately had me thinking about Nina and her trunk show of hideous high-end designer clothing that she tries to sell to the doctors' wives at our Annual Meeting. (I never found out what was actually going on). The nurse would also periodically come in to tell me that "it's just too bad I can't see these bumps, they're really something," which obviously had me picturing huge welts all over my back. And, the only other thing I had to look at was my hideous arms, which started to make me angry so I tried to focus on the clothing charade next door.

Eventually the doctor left her visitors long enough to look at my back. She concluded I was allergic to pineapple, mushrooms and a couple of shell-fish. Now while I'm happy I only have a couple of food allergies, I was a little confused since the nurse had said 3 other kinds of fish and lead me to believe my back was covered in bumps. Plus, the doctor kept saying she didn't want to over read anything… But, what's to over read? I mean, I saw my arms Monday; either I have a bump or I don't. I'm not saying the nurses actions had me overly convinced of her competency, but she surely sees these tests nearly as much as the doctor, right? Besides, I wasn't entirely sure that the doctor wasn't just rushing through it to get back to her clothing store.

Whatever, what can I do? I mean, I can't very well call the doctor out can I? I suppose I could have, but after this ordeal I was honestly just ready to get to work…

I think the lesson here is don't ask your general doctor for a referral if you don't really like them or think they're very competent.

Justin Timberlake - Welcome to Plastic Ville Skitch

2009-05-12T13:10:00.002-04:00

JT did an awesome video about Plastic Surgery on SNL! Unfortunately I can't embed the video so I have to link to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YufZx_miWuQ

short skirts and a long jacket

2009-05-04T23:14:00.004-04:00

Becca requested that I link to her post about skirts because she is desperately seeking advice (not that anyone really reads this either). Anyone, check it out and let her know what you think.

The Cubs Shirt

2009-05-04T23:11:00.002-04:00

Obviously people wear sports memorabilia to show support and allegiance for their favorite team. While I think this is a worthy and valid reason for wearing sports clothing, I think there is another equally valid, if not more important reason. Or, at least when it comes to the Cubs…

For anyone who has never been to a Cubs game, you might not truly appreciate the thoughts behind this, but let me try to give a little back-story. Collectively, Cubs fans are probably the most obnoxiously drunk group of people I've ever seen. It's almost as if we've all just accepted that you're allowed to get completely wasted when you go there. It's definitely not that way at a Sox game, and I don't really remember it being that way in St. Louis. Maybe it's partly due to Chicago's weather, or maybe it's due the Cubs longstanding history of letting their fans down. Whatever the case may be, Cubs games are a ton of fun – I just wouldn't recommend sitting in the bleachers if you're not in a drinking mood.

This weekend we went to the game with Baker's dad's season tickets (which are fabulous by the way). I spent a good portion of my morning rehashing Saturday afternoon's events via email. Upon recounting one part, I explained that the person I was talking to was probably made sense of my response, simply by noting that I was wearing a Cubs shirt. And, now that I think about it, I think Hillary and I have used that excuse before while sitting at Taco Bell wasted at 5 in the afternoon – it's fine, we're wearing a Cubs shirt!

So, note to reader, if you're ever going to a sporting event where you plan to get wasted, help your fellow citizens out and wear a jersey so at least we can sort of explain the ridiculousness away. I suppose that is another good reason as to why bar crawls should make special shirts.

Typical Meeting

2009-04-27T10:15:00.000-04:00

R: So basically I went to sell these subscriptions to doctors.

I: It's not possible. We can not sell the subscriptions to doctors.

R: Well why Not?

I - gives a brief/confusing explanation of why not.

Me: Could we sell it by companies then?

I: No, that's not possible. (without any further explanation)

Talking for about 2 minutes or so...

I: I know what we can do – we’ll sell the subscriptions to the companies.

Brilliant idea! And people wonder why I get annoyed in meetings...

Employee Spirit

2009-04-22T23:30:00.002-04:00

Sam's post this morning...

What can I say, I want to look good in a bathing suit ;-)

Little Drummer Boy

2009-04-19T15:36:00.001-04:00

Hill, Becca and I saw this Dad and son duo on New Years Weekend. The little boy is so cute and quite good! I figure the dad has another good 5 years or so out of this "act."

Albino Squirrel Preservation Society (ASPS)

2009-04-15T21:48:00.003-04:00

"In the constant pursuit of albino squirrel rights."

After three weeks of silence, RoRo finally broke her vow of silence (and just in time because I really couldn't take much more). Now what brought on this vow of silence is a whole other story, for a whole other day. Today's tale is of what broke the silence…

R wrote a long email today trying to explain the relationships with have with a variety of new societies, all with acronyms using the letters P, S, A, and N. Naturally, I told her the email was extremely confusing and that no one could possibly keep it all straight. She agreed and then informed me that there is actually another society using the acronym ASPS, the Albino Squirrel Preservation Society.

This name started to bring up some distant memories, but all I could manage was "o really." She took this to be excitement and continued that it was started by some college kids somewhere with too much time on their hands.

"Huh… college kids…" the memory is becoming clearer

Rhonda oblivious to my expression says, "Yeah, I think somewhere in Texas," and begins searching on her computer to find it.

"Texas? Really?… because I'm pretty sure I'm an honorary member of it and that my friends started it."

Now this got her attention.

"What do you mean you're a member? You mean you've heard of this club? You actually belong to the Albino Squirrel Preservation Society."

"Well, yeah."

Now she was just confused and decided to go back to trying to find the organization (I think she was probably trying to prove that I wasn't actually a member of that ASPS). After little searching she found the website, and she found that Illinois State University did indeed have a charter, or at least at one time.

Meanwhile, I was doing my own searching and came across a Daily Vidette article about ISU's Squirrel Master, Rob Hoover. Obviously I sent her the link… along with ISUFU.

At this point, Rhonda's only response was, "wow, I really don't know what to say."

"Well, you see my friend Rob decided to start a new organization after the success of ISUFU, which I was also a member of. And, I was really just an honorary member – I think I owned a t-shirt or something. "

"O yeah, those are on the website too." After a bit more reading she said, "You know, you should found your own charter so you could put ASPS President next to your name."

And that my friends, is why Rhonda gets paid the big bucks. I think that's an excellent idea and I just might follow through with it. I'm only sorry that I didn't come up with it myself. Plus, I feel like the title of "ASPS President" will surely warrant a window seat!

P-Mates: for Women who like to Pee like Men

2009-04-10T11:25:00.003-04:00

*Warning - what you are about to see is a quite disturbing*

Pmates give women the freedom to discreetly pee standing up

Have you ever found yourself in a dirty, unhygienic port-a-potty?Have you ever had a full bladder with no bathroom in sight?Have you ever been afraid to pull down your pants to squat and pee and risk being seen or peeing on your shoes? Then the P-Mate is for you!

The P-Mate is basically like a cardboard shoe with the toe cut off. You place the entrance of the 'shoe' directly under your urethra, between your legs, pee into the shoe and then make sure that the hole at the toe end is funneling the urine out somewhere other than on your feet.

A few of my favorite marketing points:

The P-Mate is the most amazing female urinary device.
The P-Mate gives women the freedom to pee like men.
The P-Mate is covered with a 4-leaf clover design as it is good luck to have one with you when you are in need.
The P-Mate does NOT get all wet and soggy after use. You can easily slip it back into a pocket or bag for later disposal if you are outdoors where there is no garbage can.
It can fold up and fit into your pocket or purse.
The P-Mate is handy to use inside an unsanitary port-a-potty. The P-Mate is very practical when traveling by car or boat.

Sadly enough this appears to be a real product and is sold in various outlets across Canada (surprise). I really can't even comment on this...

For the record, I found out about this through Neotorama. Umm... I just read some of the comments on this blog are even more disturbing...

Neighbors take to the street: Chicago wasn't patching potholes, so West Sider's became a DIY road crew -- chicagotribune.com

2009-04-09T11:21:00.002-04:00

As a follow-up to the story I posted last week about potholes, here is a news article about a group of residents on Chicago's West Side who bought eight bags of a pavement mix for about $100 and used shovels, rakes and a 250-pound push roller to fill 15 holes. The group's members hope their efforts will shame the city into repairing neighborhood side streets and inspire other residents to band together and patch their own blocks. They also hope residents will create a citywide Pothole Repair Day.

And the city is concerned with KFC fixing them...

Kit Kat Diva

2009-04-07T00:49:00.004-04:00

Every month (or almost every month) some girls from grad school and I get together for dinner. We're working our way through the alphabet and last month it was my turn to pick "K". Obviously the Kit Kat Lounge came to mind. Here was our Diva for the night!

5 Best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk...

2009-04-02T09:10:00.003-04:00

A coworker sent this to me b/c she thought I would enjoy it (obviously I did)...

5. They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen.

4. This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time-management course you sent me to.

3. Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-out. You probably got here just in time!

2. Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?

1. (Raising your head slowly) '...in Jesus' name, Amen

First pot pies, now potholes

2009-04-01T09:08:00.003-04:00

WGN covered a story this morning where KFC has offered to fill Chicago's potholes as part of an ad campaign and goodwell gesture. But, the city is passing on the offer for the time being because they don't want advertising on our streets or sidewalks. Really? WHO CARES? First of alll, every winter this city's streets become corroded and it's a daily battle to keep your tires & shocks in tact. City crews can't seem to keep up with the demand, or they simply do a poor job so they need to be refilled 4 times a year. There is spot underneath the Ashland viaduct that has honestly been filled in 4 separate times in the last year - and they're worried about the quality that KFC would do? Plus, in a city/state that is constantly in a budget crisis wouldn't you take the extra FREE help?

But what do I know...

27 Dresses

2009-03-29T23:39:00.002-04:00

How is it that something as wonderful as a wedding can also be such a pain in the ass?

Recently I've been making a large effort to become more fiscally responsible, and I've realized what no one teaches is you is how to save for all of your friends weddings. Seriously. Next weekend marks my first wedding for 2009, and it will basically be followed by one a month until October (I think that's when Brittany said hers would be). And then there is the added stress of being in the wedding. The dress, the shoes, the hair, and all the other fun details involved – which brings me to my actual topic of Julie's bridesmaid dresses.

Julie made every attempt to make the bridesmaid dress as painless as possible and, yet, it hasn't seemed to work. When we first ordered the dresses there was literally 10 emails a day going back and forth about the color and style and who was ordering what. In the end, Jess, Hill and I all got the exact same dress and the other 3 each have a different style.

Our dresses came in a month ago and we learned that even though we were all measured and the dresses were each made individually, they were all made for someone with at least a D cup.

And now begins the hunt for the perfect tailor – and by perfect I mean someone who can get the dress to stay up without costing me a fortune. I thought about going to the same place as Hillary's but was hoping I could find someone a little closer and hopefully less questionable & dramatic. So I looked on yelp and called 2 with good reviews only to learn they had decided to quit doing bridesmaid dresses. Finally I found one near me that seemed like it would work well. The fitting went off without a hitch, but then she told me it was going to be $130.

Hmm… $130 was definitely more than I wanted to spend. In fact, 100 was pretty much my limit. After verifying that Hillary's tailor quoted $75 for both the bust and length, I decided to just take it there.

I have to say that I think my initial experience went much smoother than Hill's (after I realized that I have to make an appointment). When I went in for the fitting, I spent a good 20 minutes watching a cute guy try on 5 suits that the tailor resized for him, which increased my confidence of the tailor's ability tremendously.

So my fitting begins and he starts pinning me everywhere. As he's working on the second side, I notice that it seems a bit tight, and bring that to his attention. In his thick Russian accent he says, " you think this is too tight? No, this is good. It's better to be too tight than too loose."

O, yes, I guess that's true… well, really I think I'd rather it not be too tight or too loose, but you are the professional so what do I know.

After that he points out how my boobs look pointy, but that there really isn't anything he can do about it. O, well thanks for pointing that out then so that will be what I always notice first in the dress. Then he points out how my hips look wide in the dress and would I like him to take that in. So not only will my boobs be pointy, but now I have big hips. Awesome.

"Um, I think I'm fine with the hip area the way it is."

"Ok. You're friend didn't want that done either. But, I like to point these things out you know so that you can have the best possible dress." Gee, thanks. To borrow Hillary's words, I'm not the bride, I just need it to stay up.

So, this event wraps up with little more ado and he fills out my ticket. $95 for everything. 95 huh, ok well that must include the pressing then because I believe Hill told me that was an extra $20. Well it's under the $100 mark, so great.

Two weeks later, it's time to pick up the dress and I'm a little apprehensive for some reason.

Try the dress on – o the reason is because it doesn't fit. I walk out to have the Mexican lady help me zip it up, and as she's doing so I tell her it doesn't fit. She says "it doesn't fit? No look, I got it to fit."

"You haven't hooked it yet and I can barely breathe."

After a little struggling, she manages to get it hooked. So, I walk over to the mirror to see the result. The result is that I have "big hips," "pointy boobs," and now I look fat because my skin is rolling over the top. Perfect. And, while I'm standing there the hook breaks. At least that was enough to convince them that it was indeed too tight.

After changing back to my normal clothes I decide to broach the subject of why my dress hasn't been pressed since I was assumedly going to be picking it up that day. She informs me that is an extra $15, which I in turn argued about and left with her promise to have the tailor call me.

The next day he calls me to discuss the pricing situation and I explained that if pressing is not included, then he quoted me and my friend two different prices for the same work. He argued that we had different work done, too which I restated that he quoted her though on the same work and that is the reason I went there. He got angry and said he didn't appreciate me accusing him of running a crappy business and if it would make me happy then they would steam it for free. Ok, great – that would make me happy. Then we discussed that he needs to let it out a half inch and he mentioned that maybe I have gain weight.

While gaining weight is always a possibility, I did not go up a half of an inch in 2 weeks. And, I certainly did not go up a half of an inch in my boobs, even though this is something I prayed about nearly every night for the better part of my high school. (I'm just saying…)

After overhearing this entire conversation, Sam comments "you know, I'm not sure why this truly just suck in, but this shit really only does happened to you. And, it's not like you're the cause of it – it just happens to you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday I picked up the final version and it fits perfectly. And, now that it's the correct size, I don't think the boobs look pointy or my hips big. And, it was pressed for "free." So, I guess it's as the saying goes, all is well that ends well. Plus, I've talked to Mandy (the bride's sister) and her ordeal ended up being far worse than mine – she doesn't get her dress back until Wednesday so hopefully it works!

Chump Change

2009-03-10T20:41:00.004-04:00

I hate, hate, hate getting waxed. I hate that it hurts; I hate that it takes time out of my busy life; and I hate most how much it costs. But, what I hate more than this are the ugly little hairs that I have if I don't wax. Damn my Westfall genes - Becca has none of this (although she does have her fair share of genetic misfortunes from my mom's side).

For the past 3 years (about the time my chin hair really started to appear) all I have wanted was to get laser hair removal. Problem is, that costs several thousand dollars. Tonight, walking home from Trim, it finally dawned on me that 2-3 years of regular waxing would actually pay for laser removal, and after that I would basically be saving money.

Now if only I could find a spare $2500...

Photo Copy Nightmare

2009-03-06T15:54:00.007-05:00

As a general rule, my department has problems with the photocopier (me included) . Now, this is not because we are incompetent but rather because the machine is a piece. It becomes jammed at least once day (probably more like 2 or 3 times) and eventually service has to be called - probably at least twice a week.

This morning while we were trying to unblock yet another jam, Sam found the following note taped to the wall.

Thank you Mr. Passive-Aggressive Copier man! In case you're wondering, those lines at the bottom are actually 10 or so tiny pieces of shredded paper that were taped to it! Loves it!

12 Food Phrases

2009-03-06T09:53:00.001-05:00

1. “Not worth his salt.” In Roman times, salt was a highly valued commodity used for trading. To say a soldier was not worth his salt was the same as saying he wasn’t worth his salary; he was absolutely worthless. Photo from What’s Cooking America.

2. “Pie in the sky” is actually only half of the phrase - the whole thing is “there’ll be pie in the sky when you die,” and it’s a sarcastic remark that means heaven is a silly notion.

3. Money is sometimes called “dough” or “bread” because money is what puts the bread on the table. By that logic, the two are basically interchangeable.

4. “Egg on your face” may come from the times of Victorian live theater. While we’re most familiar with the fall guy getting a pie in his face, Victorian theater had the embarrassed party getting raw eggs cracked over his head. However, another explanation suggests that people who eat eggs often get yolk all over their faces, which is embarrassing. Photo from DippingEgg.com.

5. “Won’t amount to a hill of beans” (or the like) comes from the practice of planting bean seeds in clumps in a mound of soil (the hill). This is a very small hill indeed, so saying you won’t amount to a hill of beans is pretty insulting.

6. “Apple of my eye” is thought to have originated from an old English idea that the pupil of the eye was solid, like an apple. So the “apple of my eye” is the pupil of my eye. I guess that sort of poetically means what catches my attention most.

7. “Cool as a cucumber” exists because the high water content of a cucumber keeps them pretty cold. Lettuce and celery both have high water contents as well, but I guess “cool as lettuce” doesn’t have the same ring to it. Photo from FoodMomiac.

8. “Cream of the crop” is because if you have a pail of freshly-squeezed milk, the cream will rise to the top of the pail because of the high fat content. Since cream is so rich and delicious, it’s considered the best - so if you’re the cream of the crop, you’re obviously the best!

9. “Top banana” and “Second banana” probably come from the same place. The term comes from the early 1900s vaudeville days, and may have come from comedian Frank Lebowitz, who used bananas in his act.

10. “The greatest thing since sliced bread” is pretty self-explanatory - how great is it to just pull out a couple of pieces of bread and not have to be bothered with getting out a knife and trying to cut even slices without hacking up the loaf? It’s hard to believe, but pre-sliced bread actually wasn’t really a practice until 1928 and wasn’t marketed until 1930 by Wonder Bread.

11. “Cut the mustard” has always seemed pretty strange to me, but it actually makes sense: it means to be up to a challenge. And if you think about it, cutting mustard? Pretty difficult. Photo from English Shop.

12. “Dollars to doughnuts” means “most assuredly,” which I explain because I’m not sure how common it is. I use it, but I don’t know if it’s weird midwest slang or what. An example would be, “Dollars to doughnuts, Heath Ledger is going to win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar.” Anyway, it comes from the fact that if you’re willing to bet dollars to something that’s essentially worthless (although Homer Simpson would probably argue with you), you must be pretty sure that you’re right. Variations include dollars to buttons, cobwebs and dumplings.

Backstreat's back, alright

2009-03-05T22:13:00.003-05:00

Looks like I've been inspiring people left and right. In fact, this reminds of when I started my blog nearly 4 years ago. After several solid months of me blogging again, both Hillary and Becca have decided to revive their blogs. We'll see who manages to keep it up longer. Right now, my money is going to be on Hill b/c she has more free time at work ;-)

Now I'm waiting to see if Dow or Vinh end up starting one.

Frere Jacques - Are You Sleeping

2009-03-03T16:29:00.006-05:00

To the tune of Frere Jacques...

Where is RoRo, Where is RoRo?
In the Mother's Room, In the Mother's Room.
Her telephone is ringing, Her telephone is ringing,
Ding, dong, dong. Ding, dong, dong.

She has been sleeping in there since I left for lunch over 2 hours ago. Now how could I possibly hate this place when I have entertainment and inspiration like this right at my fingertips!

Happy Square Root Day!

2009-03-03T15:28:00.004-05:00

Today is Square Root Day - 3/3/09. According to the Associated Press, this happens only 9 times a century. However, I am almost certain that it happened one of the 3 years that I had Mrs. Carney because I remember her talking about it.

I wonder which year that could have been... maybe I'll try to figure that out later this afternoon

Mail Goggles

2009-02-28T23:28:00.004-05:00

This week was rather busy, particularly the last three or so. And thus, I decided I was too tired to go out tonight. Instead, I am currently chatting online and catching up on emails. However, I'm having a little trouble responding to emails because at some point this year I turned on Mail Goggles to prevent myself from any reckless late night emails. Well, really I turned it on just so that I could see what it was like and how difficult the problems are.

As you can see, the problems are a little hard, or at least a little hard for someone over the age of 12 who now uses excel for basically everything. I hate to admit this, but I actually failed the first one. Google then sent the clever recommendation of water and bed. I'm not sure that this feature is really serving its purpose for me now, but think of all the pain it would've saved me during college. I can only imagine how many terrible conversations I could have spared myself if only I had kept myself from sending that ever necessary email at 3 am. (or how many emails I could've been spared reading!)

The Milllion Dollar Question

2009-02-24T22:52:00.007-05:00

As I was coming out of the bathroom yesterday, I ran into Rhonda in the hallway, and she almost seemed startled to see me. We walk a few steps and she turns to me and says, “I have a question for you…”

Now, there was a time when these kinds of phrases from Rhonda truly terrified me. Not because I am afraid of her, but because one never truly knows just what will come out of her mouth at any given moment. In the past, these comments usually had some negative, unforeseeable consequence for me. But, as of late, they’ve simply been something trivial that she asked in that way for effect.

So, in a confident and casual way I say, “Ok... What’s your question?”

“Do you hate it here?!?”

Now while I've learned to expect anything and everything from Roro, this one caught me a little off guard - not because I haven't said this approximately 1000 times, but because I can't believe that a.) she is actually asking me this randomly in the hallway and b.)I actually don't really hate it here anymore (no thanks to her, but who's counting).

Keeping these 2 points in mind, I had a hard time not laughing at the question. But, I managed to pull myself together and simply reply, "No, of course not - why on earth would you think that." (Although it's possible I might have been smiling a little.)

"Because someone just told me that you hate it here. And, they were completely serious."

"Hmm... that's odd. I wonder why someone would say that... well, who did say that?"

Obviously at this point I had about 100 different things running through my head - who busted me out? was it someone that I actually discuss work with? or someone that overheard me talking about it with someone else? or someone who just inferred from my scornful and resentful body language for that 6 month period? and, why on earth is Rhonda actually asking me about this? what would she say if I told her that I did hate it, but not really so much anymore?

Anyway, she responds that it isn't important who told her. Point is did I say it.

Touche Roro, touche. You got me. "No, no, of course I don't hate it here. I really don't know where anyone would get that from." (Of course I don't hate it - I need to keep this job, any job in this economy).

Her response was that I should really be more careful when I talk to gossipy people.

And that was that. For the rest of the day she went back to normal and simply pretended like our conversation never happened. Meanwhile I went over the likely suspects of who ratted me out and discussed the situation with 2 allies I still felt were trustworthy. After much speculation I was still no where near any solid leads.

Just as I was packing up for the day, Rhonda came back to my desk and says in her whiniest voice, "So, you really don't hate it here?"

"No. I don't hate it here." I was a little more direct/short this time because after a full days analysis with no solid leads, I was just annoyed and no longer amused.

"Did you maybe say you hate it here?"

"No! I never said that. I don't know why someone would say that I did." (I mean, do you have me on video recorder. Jesus. Am I under oath here? And what difference does it make - don't I still produce quality work?)

"Well then, it's probably just one of those nasty rumors spread by the gossip mil."

(The gossip mil? Why, that's me. I think I'm probably the chief proponent of the gossip mil - correction, I'm probably the chief gossiper under the age of 35. In fact, this is one of the reasons why I no longer hate the job. That's not bad is it?)

"Ah yes, those rumors. I'm sure that's it."

"Yeah, no one likes rumors, especially not about their self. And, I don't like hearing rumors like that. They really bother me."

O of course not, because then you might actually have to consider why I hate it and what part you might play in that.

Just kidding. If she actually cared she would have brought me into a conference room and actually asked me this like an adult rather than accosting me in the hallway. She simply did this to see what reaction I would have and to make me uneasy. And, I've decided if she brings it up again, this will be my new response!

Sin City

2009-01-24T17:39:00.002-05:00

I've been in Vegas for a full 24 hours now – three points I'd like to make so far.

Why on earth did we ever allow smoking everywhere? It's absolutely repulsive. (Sorry Dow) I don't think it's too much to ask people to step outside to smoke. And I get that Vegas is Vegas and people like to "let loose" but seriously. I'm pretty much trapped in a smoke filled building for three days straight, literally. I woke up this morning with the most blood shot eyes I think I've ever had, and 12 hours later they only feel worse. Funny part is that I probably looked worse this morning than any other meeting morning when I rolled downstairs after a late night of drinking and now sleep. I guess since I'm going to look the part anyways, I might as well go out tonight.
All of my products keep getting swiped. Ballparking it, I'd say I've lost close to $1000 worth of products so far. I've been to probably 10 or 15 meetings now and I've never seen anything get stolen. Of course Anne has always warned me about these "shady doctors" but I always just chalked that up to her paranoia and general skeptism of the world. I guess in reality I was just being naïve in thinking that wealthy plastic surgeons were above stealing a $19 book.
The disparity of wealth in this country truly is disturbing. And when I'm talking about wealth, I'm not talking about anyone that I know personally – no one that I know qualifies for this kind of wealth. I'm talking about the kind of person that wears a gold encrusted hat (of sorts) simply because they can. The kind of person that can drop $800 a night on a suite and not think twice. And more importantly, the kind of person that requires their fancy suite be located in an exclusive tower that has a separate registration, bar/restaurant, and high rolling slot machine room where the minimum bet is $100.

Hey, I guess all of this is fine with me when I'm given a complimentary upgrade into these tower suites and some rich men offer to have drinks with me. Ok, so maybe I through that last part in for effect, but I still have 2 days so who knows.

Winter Woes from Becca

2009-01-19T17:14:00.001-05:00

Last weekend I had to travel to Atlanta for work. While I was not extremely excited to go to this meeting (many reasons here), I was extremely excited to get out of the brutally cold weather (although even Atlanta was 12 degrees on that Friday). While I was away, Becca sent me a detailed account of her day...

pretty much what happened was i had to go to a meeting on friday for work on mandated reporting (dcfs type stuff) at another church school.

so i wake up. tired and groggy, as always fearing the ferocious cold that will bite me once I get outside, and I walk into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Roughly one half of a drop of a water comes out of the faucet, so I crank both knobs to their full force. this time approximately 1/4 of a drop of water comes out of the faucet. i think to myself, "this is probably a big issue that i need to tell victor about." but then i think about how he's been an asshole lately, and i pray that a water mane has gone out and that the issue will be resolved by the time i get back from my meeting. i swish some generic listerine around in my mouth instead of brushing and then bleach wipe the sink so that it doesnt look like the hulk has recently done any business there.

i get dressed, carefully placing double layers of long underwear as to prepare for the coldest day in 10 years (which according to weather.com, was actually colder in chicago than the south pole that day).

before i can leave to go to work on time, i get a phone call from paul. apparently he has no running water either. great. he happens to catch me outside before i leave and now i have to run inside and turn all the faucets slightly on for the plumber. now im late to this meeting...

my hands by this point (having spent roughly 8.5 minutes outside wearing my ski gloves) are completely frozen to the point that I cannot properly steer my car. However, i am late, and cannot wait, so drive i must. gps has problems with giving directions if i have to make two turns right after each other, so i ended up getting lost with my gps. about five minutes later, gps figures out where i am, and i make it back. i turn into the parking lot, only to discover that i would be blocking someone if i parked, and it takes me another titulating 10 minutes to back out of the parking lot because everyone else has managed to make their own parking spots. i find parking on the street and once again my hands are frozen solid.

i walk into the meeting and the speaker calls me and three other people out on being "obnoxiously late" -her words not mine. she then proceeds to tell me that if i don't move to a seat closer to the front i can "attend another meeting in the spring when it is warmer outside". i go up one row and sit next to my assistant principal and religion teacher. the religion teacher, whispers under her breath that the speaker is a bitch. and she was... for the next two hours, we listen to some lady gallyhoot about her opinions and stereotypes. fortunately for us, she is from the south side and the only two areas that she speaks at are the south and west side because, no offense, she doesn't like to deal with the yuppy catholic schools. as a real plot twister, the english teacher at our school, pulls out a reporter's notebook and proceeds to write down every inappropriate thing the lady says. she has since written a letter to the archdiocese about this. (and no, i am actually not the english teacher i teach reading. however, i always admire someone who isn't afraid to pull out a reporter's notebook when the time calls for it)

after the meeting, i manage to get home pretty easily, with the exception that my fingers remained yellow for about 45 minutes. there is still no water in the house, and mike informs me that he took a shit in the toilet, and he can't get it to flush. note: he knew about the situation, but i guess he was in a bit of a predicament i tell him to use the water from the brita water pitcher to get it to flush. he tells me that was what he was planning on using to wash his hands. note: haven't used the water pitcher since.

after spending an hour packing to go to Ashley's, i decide to start on my trek of taking out three bags of garbage. i manage to get the first bag out pretty safely, but when it comes to bag number 2, i slip on the mountain of snow on the steps and end up sliding the rest of the way down, bumping my tailbone on roughly 5 or 6 stairs. at this, i burst in immediate tears, and the garbage man who happens to be there at this moment in time, helps me up and brushes the garbage off of my coat and pants. he is the true protagonist of this saga, as he takes it upon himself to clean up the rest of the mess covering teh snow. he even volunteers to take any other garbage that i might have from my house, but i tell him not to worry about it. over a week later, the last garbage bag is still in the house untouched...

i go inside and hunt for a bottle of advil. at some point (im guessing during my stint of unemployment last year) i oddly purchased a generic bottle of advil. for minutes i try to align the arrows and pop the top off. the only thing that comes off, though, is my fingernail from this pathetic attempt. i find a bottle of advil from deb's room and take some of that.

i get an update from paul. apparently the pipes froze int eh house. why wouldn't it when it's literally -38 outside. just what he needs is another flood in his apt (this would be the third time this year for him).

before i depart on my 2 hour journey to ashley's house (it's a friday so anticipated traffic is not good), i decide i really need to pee. after judging the risk of peaking at the toilet, i decide to check and see if mike has managed to flush. ....not so lucky...

i drive to the walgreens to pick up some advil, and wait in line for about 15 minutes. their bathroom is out of order. i decide to just give up and leave to go to Antioch. surprisingly, traffic wasn't all that bad, and the rest of my day went by pretty uneventful. i guess the glooming shadow of darkness that every once in a while haunts me doesn't travel past cook county.

Squatter's Rights Rule

2009-01-13T21:20:00.009-05:00

It's been a rather rough winter so far this year. Right now it is 5 degrees out and I believe it's snowed for 10 days straight now. The cumulative snow fall so far is around 40 inches, when it is typically closer to 15 inches.

Just before Christmas the weather was so bad that I couldn't get my car out for days and I questioned whether I would even be able to get it out to go home for the Holidays. I eventually did get it out thanks to some shoveling and the help of Ashley, my post man, a random bumb (not kidding), and another kind stranger.

Last Fri/Sat it snowed about a foot, with more predicted this week. And the temp was expected to drop drastically, meaning it would all turn to a 16 inch block of ice. So, Becca and I decided to shovel our spots. We shoveled for about an hour or so and managed to get both of our spots fairly clean, plus the ones in front of us.

At this point we decided to make a Target trip, however I was very hesitant to give up my newly cleaned spot. Mike came outside about this time and assured me that common courtesy in Chicago winters is to respect someone's clean spot, especially on a friendly street like ours.

Just to be sure though, I decided to mark the spot with a chair (there was a whole parking spot in front of me that was fairly cleared off from me as well). I've seen tons of people do this by Nikki's house and it always seemed to work there, so why not here. And, for the record, I would never do this for an extended period of time, nor if I lived in a place where parking was scarce. As it is, my street is zoned 24/7 so it's really not that bad.

The Target trip was quite successful, since we both made it out for less than $50. The whole way home we contemplated whether my chair would still be there. Becca was skeptical, but I was confident that it would be, especially since there was an open spot in front of me.

But, I was wrong. This little blue Kia had parked in my spot. There were plenty of open spots on our street (including the one in front of my spot) but they still decided to park in my spot. They left a little note to clarify though - "Chairs in the street are illegal!"

Alright, so maybe it is illegal, but I'm not really sure that it is. Plus, who the hell cares. Half of the things people do in this city are illegal, particularly drivers. So, let's ad this one to the list. Either way, I was pissed. Correction, we were pissed. I think I would have been fine with it, almost expected it, except the person was simply being an ass trying to prove a point - 1. the spot in front was left empty and 2. they left the note. Also, I was pissed because they clearly didn't even live here since they had a visitor parking pass in their window.

Now, I have always been a firm believer in good karma. But, I have also been a firm believer in what is just, however different my version of just is from the next person. This time proving a point outweighed any fear of attracting bad karma.

Becca suggested we put snow on this person's car. I took it a step further and suggested we simply clear my new spot by putting all the snow on their car. And, that's just what we did.

After 15 min or so, spot #2 was completely clean. After a little thought, I decided it was best to move my car from that spot, lest I receive any retributions for our actions. A half hour or so later, Becca got curious and decided to see if the car was still there...

Turns out it was Paul's car!

Who is Paul?

Paul is the neighbor who lives below us and takes care of everything. He shovels our walk and fixes everything anytime we have a problem. And, he offered to pull my car out when it was stuck before Christmas. And, I'm sure he already shoveled out at least one spot that day. And, that was his rental car because he totaled his truck last week on the ice.

So, I guess there's karma for you. Now I feel terrible.

O well, there's not a whole lot we can do, other than fess up that it was us if he brings it up. Becca thought maybe we should just go tell him it was us, but I'm sort of against that idea since the only reason we would know that is if we were secretly watching the car afterward - and if that was the case, we really should've went out at that point in time. Plus, really we didn't hurt anything - after all, it was just a little snow on a car.

I guess the lesson here is don't retaliate when people do stuff to you. And, don't try to hold your spot, even though everyone else does.

Not quite New Year's Eve

2009-01-05T22:42:00.004-05:00

New Year's Eve was fairly uneventful. Well, that's if you don't count meeting a group of guys from Kentucky or getting a minor injury (although 2 weeks later I'm not quite healed). Either way, Hill and I had a blast hanging out at the Tavern, not spending a fortune.

Two nights later, is the real interesting story...

Volunteers Anyone?

2008-12-19T22:28:00.004-05:00

Why is it so difficult to find volunteer opportunities. The other day Hillary suggested we do volunteer work, which is something I've been wanting to do for quite some time. I actually suggested to my work "party planning committee" (don't ask) that we get involved in some volunteer projects like a year ago, but they took this to mean donating food and clothes at various points throughout the year.

Anyway, Hill and I spent several hours yesterday and today trying to find somewhere to volunteer at tomorrow. One would think in a city of this size, this would be an easy task. One would be wrong.

It honestly took me hours to find anything at all, and the first thing I found was volunteering at the Navy Pier Children's museum, and then for the Art Institute. Now don't me wrong, I'm all for museums, but I my idea of volunteering involved helping those in need or something.

Eventually I pulled out my pocket Ace and turned to Craigslist. Alas, there was nothing but volunteers need for oversees projects. Anyway, after much more digging, I finally found a soup kitchen that needs volunteers.

Now my question is, why is it so difficult to help out? Why do I need to be affiliated with a church just to do something good once in awhile? Why do I have to fill out an entire pamphlet of papers to help someone in need? And why are there 100 websites for me to find what bar specials there are for the weekend, but none for me to find things like volunteering.

Perhaps I am just a product of our generation. The only way I know how to find or do things is through the internet. Becca actually suggested I pick up the phone and start calling some homeless shelters or soup kitchens because they are likely to busy to bother with building an intricate website for volunteers. And, I'm sure she is right. But, that's still a lot of work.

falling prices and my cabbie union

2008-12-05T16:32:00.004-05:00

I can’t quite believe my own eyes – the gas station near me is actually under $2. Who would have ever thought!

Speaking of gas prices lowering…

Sunday night I went out w/ Jeana and Guti to watch the Bears game. Even though I had work in the morning, I decided to stay out till about 12:30 or so. In an effort to be safe (and save time) I grabbed a cab home.

Now, anyone who knows me knows that I have numerous, numerous cab stories. I just can’t help myself from talking to them when I’m alone in the car – they always have such great stories. On this night, the cab drive actually initiated the conversation. He was concerned with whether I had to wait a long time for a cab. Reason being, apparently the cabs had decided to go on another strike.

This was news to me. I hadn't heard about the strike - I guess I'd been out of town for the Holidays, and I had no problem getting a cab that night. So, I asked him what it was about "this" time.

Higher fares.

A yes, I'd heard about how you guys were mad about the gas surcharge being dropped.

Well yes, it simply isn't fair. We don't make enough to make ends meet.

Ah, but that is truly a problem of fare price, not a gas surcharge - you can't very well expect people to pay a gas surcharge when the price has fallen over $2.50 in the last 2 months.

But we don't make enough money.

O, I don't doubt that. But, you see sir, that is where you guys made your mistake. You never should have asked for surcharge based on gas hardships, you should have asked for increased rates.

True, true.

And, actually, the real root of your problem is that you have no unity. I mean, take you for example, why are you even working tonight. If you guys are going to have a strike, you need to have a strike. People would stop and listen if they had no cabs for a week straight. Hell, it would probably only take a day, or one weekend.

But that is difficult. One company says strike and another doesn't. So, if you strike you're losing money.

Well, then you need a union. Why don't you guys have a union?

I know! That is what I've been saying!

Well, doesn't NY and LA have taxi cab unions? Besides, Chicago is a city that's known for their unions. You guys definitely need to get a union.

But how would you get a union. It's just not that simple.

Sure it is. All you need is one person to rally behind. One person that everyone can relate to and that everyone feels they can trust. (I think I was drawing inspiration at this point from one of my favorite childhood movies, Newsies - and I can't believe I just admitted that)

Hmm. That is a good point, but who would you get to do that.

Well, what about you. You are a capable man. I think you could lead a union just fine. O, this is my stop now, I need to get going.

So, what do you do for a living, you seem to know a lot about this.

O, not really. I do marketing.

Marketing, so then you do know a lot about this sort of thing. (and he was being serious)

O sure, I know a lot about PR and how you guys can appeal to the public. (I know a lot of things when I've been drinking...)

So, what about you? Why don't you help lead our union? Do you have a card or something that I could contact you?

Of course I do! Here is my business card (I have been waiting 2 years for a reason to use these!). Feel free to call or email me any time.

And that my friends, is how I intend to solve the world's problems - one issue, one man at a time. Give me a couple of drinks, and I have answers for everything, especially if I have been under the influence of J May for several days (remind me to tell you about how I pretended to be an undercover cop). One day though, the Chicago cabs will have a union and I will be able to look back on this memory with a faint sense of pride.

Another day at the circus

2008-11-25T09:34:00.007-05:00

Just when I think I can’t be surprised by the ridiculousness of this job, they do something that throws me for another loop.

Back in June or July my coworker, Emily, put in a proposal to Rhonda to work part-time rather than full time so that she could spend more time with her young children. The proposal wasn’t extremely well received, but all parties involved said they would think on it and that until the decision was made she could telecommute 3 days a week and come to the office the other 2.

For clarity purposes I want to point out that at no point in time did Emily say that she was quitting if they didn’t accept this proposal. Also, Emily has worked here for over 3 years, is probably the most efficient worker in our department, and is always pleasant to be around. And, I personally like her because she is young and normal, unlike the majority of the office.

Anyways, the company sat on this decision for months and months without any real decision. Finally just before our annual meeting they inform her that they will have a decision by the end of November.

During the Annual Meeting one of our fairly influential members gets wind of the situation and decides to get himself involved by discussing the matter with the VP of HR – telling him how great Emily is and essential to their program (he worked closely with her on membership). So, the HR director takes note and diligently works on a new compromise that he thinks will win everyone’s approval.

And, it did win everyone’s approval. Well, everyone except Paul, the Executive President. Now you may be wondering why the president needs to be involved in this sort of decision anyway, and I suppose the answer is for the same reason that he has final say on our telecommuting days. In short, he is a micro manager.

Rhonda called Emily on Friday afternoon at 4:30 to tell her that Wednesday will be her last day because we have a hiring freeze. A hiring freeze? But she is already working here? Putting that aside, Rhonda didn’t bother to tell the rest of us, and she took the whole week off. And, the head HR took the whole week off. Nice.

Now, putting all of that aside, here is the email that was sent out last night:

I'm glad that hiring freeze managed to last a whole day.

This is one of those things that pisses me off to the point where I have a hard time keeping my mouth closed. But, I will in case they decide that my job too is expendable.

Lower, Lower Wacker

2008-11-12T22:19:00.006-05:00

I've lived in Chicago for over 3 years now and I have to say that I've feel pretty confident with my knowledge of the city and my navigation skills. That is until tonight.

I called Luda tonight during our respective commutes (her walking, me driving). She was just finishing up telling me how she was going to go pick up her laundry tonight because she now pays to have it done for her up in Wrigley because it's 40 cents cheaper per pound up there (it may seem ridiculous to pay someone to do your laundry for you, but I've highly considered it in some of my past apartments). Anyways, she gets to her car only to find it's not there. Clearly, her first thought is that someone stole it. Mine is that no one would bother to steal The Neon and that it's been towed. She says that's not possible because there are no signs. 15 minutes later she calls to ask for a ride to the impound lot - she swears it will only take 10 minutes.

When she gets in the car I ask her ot read through her mapquest directions because I have learned all to well from my past that you should never blindly trust mapquest. The end destination is 440 E. Lower Wacker. Piece of cake I say, although I don't recall seeing a tow place anywhere down there.

Lesson #1, when things like this sound too easy to be true, then they are.

We head down lower wacker, past 200 E, past 300 E, (reading every sign along the way) and then pass right onto Lakeshore. Huh, that's weird. There is nothing past 300.

So we try it again (going slower) assuming we must have missed it. Nope, there really isn't anything over 330 and anything other than parking garages or hotel entrances. (I knew I hadn't seen any down there)

Now we resort to calling the tow place. Their first question to us is where are we. Lower wacker heading west. Well, you need to head east. Obviously, but we still didn't see it. Well, what level were you on. Lower Wacker! but, which level. Which level? Yes there are 3. Three? There are three levels? Yes, there are three levels of Wacker - 2 are lower wacker and we are on the bottom. Huh, well, I guess we're only on the middle then.

I wish I could say that their directions helped. Unfortunately it took 4o more minutes, 2 more phone calls, one police inquiry, reading a map (thanks mom for putting it in the glove box), and me blindly turning down a truck route until we found it.

There really are 3 levels to Wacker. And, there really is a tow company down there. And, I guess this city really does have an enitre underground network - I found the bus lane last week fascinating.

Lesson #2, don't ever trust mapquest, especially when it is to a remote location.

After dropping her off I finally made it out of the maze and back home safe and sound, only to get a phone call from Luda saying she left her keys in my car.

Lesson #3, 10 minutes really means 2 hours.

Side note: Becca reminded me how when we were young we used to think it was crazy when mom would get lost on Wacker drive for an hour at a time. It did seem crazy then, but I suppose it doesn't now.

Keep Hope Alive

2008-10-28T08:48:00.003-04:00

This was an all-staff email sent last night from this weirdo in our publications department...

As if mourning the disappearance of my brushed-steel, black handled coffee mug wasn’t enough, it’s been joined in the “ether” by my white lunch plate, approximately 8 inches in diameter, last seen — you guessed it — in the 2nd-floor lunchroom. (Yes, I’ve checked the dishwasher downstairs).

I’ve concluded this is the work of hardened utensil-nappers who operate brazenly in broad daylight. Well, I’m up to the challenge of returning Mug and Plate to their rightful home, safe and clean...

But I’ll need your help. Please send donations (they’re tax deductible!) to:

The Committee to Free Jim’s Mug and Plate
444 E. Algonquin Road
Arlington Heights, IL 60005

Remember: “All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men and women do nothing.”

Obviously this is the 2nd such email - the first was sent when the mug disappeared. Welcome to the wonderful world of ASPS.

The Newbie Cab Driver

2008-10-26T21:46:00.009-04:00

Everyone always gives me crap for directing my cab drivers around the city, but I just can't help. For one, I don't want them taking a longer route in an effort to charge me more. And for two, I simply can't stand it when other people are driving and they take the long route or aren't aggressive. Becca has pointed out that this is just one of the many ways in which I am a type A personality. Perhaps she is right.

Nevertheless, my directional skills came in quite handy this weekend. Friday night I went costume shopping with Jeana up on Belmont. After several hours it began raining really hard, but we managed to snag a cab for our ride home. Jeana hopped in and told the cab drive to head to Western and St. Charles - when he seemed confused she switched it to Western and Fullerton.

A little background - Western and Fullerton are two of the largest and most well-known streets in the entire city, or at least in North or West Chicago, and anyone who has lived there for at least 6 months knows where they are (I mean Becca even knows). He still seemed confused. So, I asked him if he needed help, to which he responded yes. The funny part is that even though I gave him directions, he was having trouble following them, so we had to keep making adjustments. It seemed like the three ways were throwing him off, so I asked him if he was new to the city.

While not new to Chicago, he was a new cab driver. He'd been on the job about a week and spent most of his time in the Loop. And, his house was way up north by Loyola.

On the way to my house from Jeana's, I had him make a left turn onto North at the Milwakee/Damen intersection. Again, he was extremely nervous and then feared he would get a ticket for being in the intersection as the light turned red. I assured him that he was in the right because it's legal to sit in the intersection when turning left and that he wouldn't get a ticket.

Once we arrived at my house, he accidentally deleted the fair charge before he had asked me for the money. Being a firm believer in good karma (and because I felt a little sorry for him), I just paid him what we gave the cabbie on our way up to Belmont. He thanked me for the fair... and then asked for directions back to Western (which apparently he was now ok with). At this point I was struggling not to laugh, but I gave him the directions and ran inside.

So to all those naysayers, I know one cab driver (actually this makes 3 now) who was very grateful that I was able to give directions. Jeana actually thought he should've given me money for learning some shortcuts.

Side note: he watched to make sure I made it in safe, which is something I appreciate from them but that few seem to do anymore - maybe this is because I seem a little more wise than when I moved here 3 years ago, or maybe many just don't care.

Another side note: I can't believe Chicago has passed LA and NY to become the murder capital this year. And, I can't believe Jennifer Hudson's family was shot and that her nephew is still missing - the fact that he's missing makes me think it could be for money, but who knows. Hopefully, he will be returned safely.

Why you drink

2008-10-25T22:28:00.001-04:00

more music charts

Better late than Never

2008-10-14T23:20:00.007-04:00

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've written. It's been so long that blogspot has changed a little and adapted new technology.

I suppose one of the main reasons for my absence is because I've been journaling a little on my own. Every now and then I sort of feel like I'm going through some sort of transition phase - and this time I've been a little more introspective than usual. And, while I've always used my blog as sort of a journal, there are some things that the entire world doesn't need to know about.

With that being said, obviously there have been numerous blog worthy events over the past 3 1/2 months. Here are a few of the updates:

I had my second experience in CA - Beverly Hills to be exact. The memories from this are some old lawyer (as in 58ish) trying to convince me to go home with him because he knows no one my own age would like me (there were more details here, but that is the gist). For my last night, Nida decided to show me a night on the town and we headed to the Peninsula where I actually met Ryan Seacrest. Yep, I'm serious, and I'm sure I looked like the typical dumb tourist with my mouth hanging open. As Nida would say, "Deb, I told you, this is LA baby."
I didn't win my full deposit back. While I am 100% convinced that I was right and 95% confident that I would have won in court, in the end I decided to just give it up. Some things just aren't worth the fight. The upside of this is that I'm know very knowledgeable in Chicago renting laws and tenant rights. I told Trish I would serve as her advisor when they go to rent her condo.
Leticia visited and it was awesome to see her. Thanks to Hill, I even managed to score some cubs tickets at the last minute (although I did want to kill her when she showed up extremely late b/c she took her roommate to the airport). The visit made me realize how much I miss everyone. Elena and I have discussed and we want to try to plan a Dallas trip - probably sometime around January/February.
Dan was married. Although I bailed out early (thanks to the wine) it was nice catching up with eveyeryone, and getting to hear a tiny bit of gossip. I think the weirdest thing was watching the first of the boys get married, and I guess really the first of my very close friends. It seems like everyone is growing up and getting married. It's times like this where I stop for a moment and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life. I mean, everyone is getting engaged and buying houses while I'm still sitting here writing about cubs games and canoe trips. But, then there are other days where I wonder why anyone wouldn't want my life and if it is right to have so much fun.
Since the Julie's annual canoe trip had to be canceled this year, Hill and Baker organized a canoe trip on the Wisconsin River. Quick recap is that I shouldn't go out with Luda the night before and that the Wisconsin River is much easier to canoe on than MO (but not enough so that Hill didn't tip). Full details can be found on my picture page.
We went to the Dells for Mandy's bachelorette party, and I learned that the lake just up and disappeared. It reminds me of that story where the ducks sat on this pond and it froze and they took it with them when they flew away. Also, tons of stories here.
Over the past several months, I've had numerous job interviews. However, none really panned out. While "they all really like me and were impressed by me," no one wants to either fork over the cash or to make the committment on someone who is still so "inexperienced." I'm wondering at what age I will finally be considered experienced. Anyway, I have decided to chill for awhile and make the most of my job. I haven't given up, just taking a time out, if you will.
I got a new do. And, if you haven't seen the pics, it's all the rage. Obviously, I will have to rock this for awhile.
I've ran into Laurel twice at the gym and decided to pretend like I didn't see her both times.

I know there are many other stories, but it is late and I just can't remember them at the moment. I do remember Jeana specifically requested that I write about something in particular but still my mind is blank.

Stickin' it to the Man

2008-06-27T14:29:00.003-04:00

As an update to the last post, Roy finally decided to do his walk through and was not happy:

I was disappointed that the bathrooms/kitchens (tub, shower, Fridge, Stove) were not in the same shape as when the unit was rented last year. (So, I didn't spend 5 hours cleaning the kitchen and upstairs bathroom?) There are some scuffs along both interior stairwells, which are the result of moving in/out, these walls ere freshly painted prior to your move in, however I am willing to live with the scuffs. (No they weren't, even though Hill asked him to) Additionally, there were some issues with the second floor bedroom on the east side (facing the front of the home). I have attached pictures, there are four nail holes and paint scuffs where the bed met the wall and other marks, unfortunately we can't touch these up, the whole room must be repainted. I will have my crew repaint the 2nd floor bedroom, the cost of material and labor to patch the nail holes and repaint the room is $200.00, this will be deducted from Deb Westfall's security deposit.

Now, I suppose most people would just chalk up the $200 and call it a lesson learned, and perhaps this is what I should've done. Instead, I spent my Friday at work researching Chicago Tenant rights and learned that Mr. Sharda had done several things wrong. So, Wednesday afternoon I sent him a letter through certified mail requesting my security deposit paid back in full plus interest, along with an additional $50 for damages caused to the desk. If I do not receive the money by July 30, 2008, then I will be filing suit in small claims court.

I'll keep everyone posted as to whether I end up in court...

The Latest Drama

2008-06-19T12:14:00.005-04:00

I realize that I haven't written in a long time. In all honesty, I just feel extremely busy all of the time, and even a little overwhelmed. I've been busy looking for new jobs, working part-time for George, and moving.

Thankfully a small piece is almost over. Becca officially moved in with me this weekend. I'm quite glad to have her here, and I'm extremely happy that everyone and everything is out of that last apartment and we no longer have to deal with that crap. Or, so I thought...

A little back story: throughout the course of the past year we have had several problems with our apartment and with our landlord. These have ranged from leaking roof (twice), to broken washer (which I paid the repair guys $40 to fix b/c the landlord didn't want to be there), broken dishwasher rent issues (he always cashes our checks whenever he felt like it and one month swore my check never got there - even though it was sent directly from my bank and he managed to locate it when he actually came to pick up my rent in person) and, my personal favorite, the rats. Most of these problems have created some sort of friction (not surprising). One of the biggest the problems stem from the fact that our landlord is infatuated/in love with the roommate that we all hate (Laurel). With that being said, I will admit that I got a little petty and vindictive with this girl before we moved out, so I imagine she is partly responsible for the following story...

Three days before we moved out our landlord sent his people over to put in screens in our bedroom window (screens that we had been asking about for literally 6 months, screens that were only taken out so that he could measure them for Laurel's bedroom??). Anyways, when they did it, they didn't bother to move my desk that was sitting in front of it and they ended up chipping it and scratching it. Being that the desk was brand new and that they are always careless when they come over (like leaving a dead rat in the kitchen while repairing the sink), I was obviously annoyed and wanted compensation.

Well, I discussed the whole thing with some people at work about how to handle it. Their suggestion was to email him informing him of the situation and saying that I would like him to include an additional $100 in my security deposit, and then I asked him to call me as soon as he could. I followed up with him the next day over my lunch break. He finally called back and said he'd gotten my message but was confused. Confused about what @sswhole - I explained it in detail? Confused about why your men can't do anything correctly?

So, I went over it all again, and he said that was fine and that he would be at the apartment on that Friday to take a walk through and would look at the desk and we'd go from there. And that he would leave the security deposits that day. I said that was totally fine and just to call me when he looked at it. And, all of this is after an extremely rude email he sent 2 weeks ago about vacating on time and needing to hire someone to clean the place after us.

Well, he didn't come over either day. and, I need the security deposit to pay here. So, I left a voicemail yesterday afternoon simply stating that I would like to come pick up the security deposit at his office since he didn't show up last week and asked that he call me back to let me know when this might be possible.

He doesn't bother to call me back, but does decide to text me at 9:50 at night telling me that he will mail my security deposit, minus any damages, after he has done a walk through. I text back that I would prefer to pick it up in case it gets lost in the mail. He texts back that I should consult my lease regarding security deposits.

So, I call him again and say that my lease is packed, would he please just let me know what he's doing. So, he says he'll do a walk through, send us a letter explaining damages and estimated costs and then will send the check within 45 days. I then ask, so you're going to do the walk through soon, and then we shouldn't really expect the deposit back for another 40 days or so. He then tells me that I should check gooogle for the policy. I said that was fine, that I didn't realize his lease was online.

So, then he gets really rude and tells me that he just didn't appreciate how I handled the whole situation with the desk and that I've just been extremely rude and that he has been a landlord for years and that he knows how to get back at people who rub him the wrong way. I said, I didn't realize that I handled it poorly; I simply sent him an email stating what happened and that I wanted to talk to him about it. I then asked if he was still going to pay for it. He says that's fine, you just send pictures whenever you can get around to along with estimated damages. I said that I already have them and that I offered them last week, but that i was waiting because he said he wanted to come look at it to access the damage in person, which I thought made sense.

Then he gets huffy and says he have every right to look at the damage, especially when I'm still living in his house. I again say that I thought that made sense and was waiting for him to do so before doing anything else. And that I never know how to discuss any issues with him and that for some reason over the past 6 months anytime there is a problem it's blown way out of proportion and I don't know how I'm supposed to get around that. He asked what had gone wrong over the past 6 months so I said, well, you just said that I've been rude to you all along and disrespectful. He didn't say anything. so then I said, O, is the desk the first problem you've had with me then?

He then gets huffy and quickly says he doesn't have time to talk right now b/c he is on family time. I told him that was fine, but that he was the one who text me and who didn't return my call during business hours. He says, you just get your legal documents together about the desk and I will get mine, and we'll go from there.

I honestly tried to be very professional and not rude about the whole desk b/c I was afraid this would happen. I also want to point out that both Hillary and I have made improvements to his apartment, which total $70. I imagine that whatever I estimate the desk being, he will find the same amount of damage in my apartment (you know how paint touch ups can ad up). I guess I should've just let the whole thing go, but I didn't think it was right or fair. And, I had contacted him 2 separate times about the security deposit and he never once contacted me back. And, I was concerned about this issue because he would always cash our rent checks whenever he felt like it throughout the course of the month. It's amazing how rude and unprofessional people can be.

O well, I suppose this is just another life lesson....

Tales of TJ - from Sam

2008-06-03T14:48:00.002-04:00

My name is Sam and I work with Deb in the fabu marketing department at ASPS. We represent the girls under the age of 30 who like to talk smack and have more fun than we should by making fun of co-workers. We also get put on projects together because it is common knowledge that Deb is too young to function by herself. I kid, I kid.

Deb told me I should tell the story of how the name Tijuana or TJ came around. For the record, I just figured out that there is a J in Tijuana. I didn’t really understand the abbreviated TJ up until this point. I’m blond sometimes (most of the time).

I am the one who decided it was an okay idea to spend some extra time in San Diego with a co-worker. This all went down in 2003 when our annual meeting was in San Diego. Seeing as though I never had been to San Diego and lived at home and had some extra money to spend, I figured it would be a good time to do some sightseeing in San Diego. Work pays for plane ticket, so I just extended my stay and paid for a hotel room for two nights.

I have a tendency to talk a lot and told TJ about my little excursion. She was like “oh…I want to do that too, we could stay together”. Here’s where I should have said no, but being the cheap-ass I am I was like “alright.” Mistake #1 of many.

Let me give you a little visual. TJ is about 6’2, lanky as all get out and at the time had a curly (ramen-noodle looking) fe-mullet. Very rock n’ roll 80s, very business up front, party in the back. Yes, I know you know what I’m talking about. In recent years, she has straighten the mullet, but it is still a mullet. She also is a chain smoker and quite addicted to Seven and Sevens. For the record, I have no idea what kind of alcohol this is. However, I do know that when someone brings a plastic travel bottle in their suitcase, you probably should run. Did I mention she is like 40 something? Probably should have as this makes the story even a tad better.

Our annual meeting was kind of traumatic. There were wildfires and the entire city basically shut down. All the popular touristy things were shut down and at night it looked like it was snowing. It was snowing – ashes. Very creepy!

We got to our hotel and it was fine. She brought up the positive points of “pre-gaming” before we went out to a haunted house for Halloween. In my opinion no one out of college should use the word “pre-gaming”. We got to this haunted house and it was pretty good. She was mocked by some kids behind us because she was visibly (read: clearly swaying and slanty-eyed) drunk. This was amusing because she thought she made some buddies when they were saying “they should have a bar in line.” She was all up on this idea.

We then went to the Gas Lamp district where went to a bar. She was harassing everyone to find out what their costumes were. It was quite comical. During one of her many bathroom breaks, she left me talking to this dude who was going to start a website where they take pictures up girls’ skirts and put it on the web. Seriously? I think this probably has been done before.

The next day I was hoping to go to Hotel Del Coronado and look around. When I said I was going to San Diego, every normal person told me to go and check it out. TJ wanted to go to Tijuana. She wanted to buy a blanket and some jewelry. I’m the type of person that if you bug me enough about something (not illegal or totally immoral), I’ll cave just so I don’t have to deal with you anymore. This is how I ended up going to Tijuana.

The train down to Tijuana wasn’t anything special. We get down to the border and I’m starting to regret my decision to go there. However, we cross the border and then it becomes a shit-show of “do you want jewelry, we got purses, come in for a drink”. All these little huts of jewelry, fake designer purses and sunglasses. I got some bracelets and a fake burberry purse. I also got called “a smart blond” by one of the Mexican guys working at one of the huts. Basically because I told him that the purse wasn’t even worth the ten dollars I would give him. He apparently didn’t think ladies from the U.S.A. knew Spanish. Que horrible!

We went to a few pharmacies to look around. If you happen to buy something there, they will write you a script so you can take it over the border LEGALLY. After hearing a story about one of her friends and how her friend comes down here to score pharmaceuticals, I’m thinking she wants to buy some “legal” drugs. She asks for the price on some vicodin and a few others. I’m not sure what else because I wasn’t paying too much attention and I’m not big into drugs.

We leave the row of pharmacies and find a bar. Of course she needs to get her drink on, since she’s been sober all morning. We go to this shady-as-fuck bar and get Coronas (how international of us!). After I drink half of mine, she’s on number two. Then she asks the waiter, “Do you know where I can get some vicodin?” She may have said “score some vicodin” but I’ve tried to block this day out of my mind totally.

At this point, I think my stomach almost dropped out my butt. I start having flashes from that movie “Brokedown Palace” where Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsdale get caught with drugs in Thailand.

The waiter is like “yeah, I can get you some, how much you want.” Then they are doing their little money deal while I zone the hell out. Apparently they struck a deal and he left the bar to go get the vicodin.

During my second beer, the waiter and her vicodin appear. She brings out a little plastic baggy from her purse and starts removing the pills from the blister pack. Thank God for that blister pack. Good to know she got some safe drugs! The plastic baggy then goes in her bra. Oh yes, you just read that right.

I guess I should be happy she didn’t go into the bathroom and put it anywhere else.

We then have another drink and at that point I was like “we need to go!” I was officially done with Tijuana. The best part is we aren’t even in downtown Tijuana. As a point of reference, downtown Tijuana is about a mile walk from the border.

When we get back to the border, I start walking super fast. She was walking all slow behind me. I only did this because if she got caught, I was going to book it the hell out of there.

We then went to some decent restaurant for dinner, she got drunk, she gave her and my leftovers to a homeless man. He hugged her and then reached over and grabbed me. Now I can check off “getting hugged by a homeless man” off my bucket list.

During our hotel stay she asks if she can smoke cigarettes in the room. We had a balcony, so I was like “go outside.” So she did. However, I think since the balcony was attached to the room she though it gave her free reign to chain smoke for the rest of the evening and next morning. Good stuff!

We had different flights home, so I left before she did. I spent the entire cab ride and two hours before my flight on the phone re-hashing these two days over and over again.

This story serves as my reason for reservation about staying extra time in San Diego this time around with Deb. However Deb is not TJ and our plans to smuggle narcs across the border this time around were crushed anyway.

May Gray, June Gloom

2008-05-15T18:45:00.001-04:00

June Gloom (also May Gray) is a California term for a weather pattern that results in overcast skies with mild temperatures during the late spring and early summer. The condition is prevalent in many parts of the world where marine stratus or stratocumulus clouds are common, particularly off the western coasts of continents—especially off Peru, Namibia, Western Australia, and California. Such cloud systems are persistent year-round off the coast, yet in certain seasons they blow ashore and create the gloomy "May Gray" effect on land. The June Gloom phenomenon has also been known to occur during the early autumn in California.

Last week marked my first experience in California. Prior to going everyone I know assured me of just how much I would love CA – the weather, the people, and just the overall atmosphere. However, for me the theme seemed to be “did that just happen.”

The trip began by being delayed over an hour on the O’Hare tarmac when we were the next in line for takeoff. No biggie, more time to sleep. I arrived at the hotel with another coworker, Judy, and ran into my boss’s boss (we’ll call her Linda) in the hallway. Now let’s give a little back story on Linda – she’s a fairly shrewd person whom you should never really trust not to stab you in the back while your sleeping, but that I got along with all the same. And, Kristie and I always assumed her to be a drunk. Anywho, when we arrived at the hotel judy decides to hug L, which then forces L to give me one of those awkward and extremely uncomfortable hugs. O, and she and Carol (Kristie’s previous boss) had just had a bunch of injections done so her face was all swoll.

Moving right along, first afternoon of work was fine. That night we decided to be good employees and join our coworkers for dinner. This turned out to be pretty painful because Sam accidently invited my least favorite coworker. So, afterwards she decided repay me by buying me a drink at the hotel bar. After a bit Sam starts whispering that L is in the bar but not to look. Obviously I had to look, and I’m so glad that I did. L decides to take a lap around the bar holding on to her older boyfriend’s arm to keep from falling over. On her way back she spots Sam and gives us the old gunshot hello, and then asked what time we had to work in the morning. In my head, I was laughing hysterically and responding “don’t worry about it, we’re clearly no where near your condition and I’m sure we start later than you.” Classy.

The next night Sam and I decide to venture out into the Gas Lamp district after getting a little buzzed from the chardonnay we chugged at the Welcome Reception. The area was cute, but I found the people to be rude and condescending. The first restaurant we went to wouldn’t seat us on the pretense that their kitchen was too backed up. Ok, we’ll move on. The second restaurant/bar seated us, but not before they gave me the once over. Let me just state, that I was wearing a relatively cute outfit. Not slutty, but still decent. After $90 worth of drinks and appetizers here, we decided to head back to the hotel…

2008-04-23T22:51:00.005-04:00

Last Tuesday marked Kristie’s last day at work. Since that time, I have at least 5 people ask me about the situation and why there wasn’t an all-staff email notifying everyone. My response to this is simply that I shouldn’t say anything at all or else I might be libel to say something to get fired over. I have had at least another 5 people ask me how I’m going to function without my buddy and whether or not I’m going to be leaving for the city as well. My responses to this are that I did not really see her at work and that my resume is being worked on as we speak.

Yesterday I decided to get my face wax while at work. Let me give you a little back story here: K started going to this place first and then brought me along. Naturally the workers there loved her more because she talks to absolutely everyone and tries to "bring a little sunshine to their day." So, they typically charge me anywhere from $2 to $6 more for the same exact services. One would think that this would teach me to be friendlier, but it doesn't. I simply get amused at the random prices they decide to charge me.

Anyways, the first thing out of the little Asian's mouth was "where your friend?" I said, "o, she quit and no longer works w/ me." you should've seen the look of shock on her face. And then after a lengthy and uncomfortable conversation in broken english they recommended that I go work with her.

Side Note: Gas is $4.05 outside Becca's apartment. I'm not going to be afford my job much longer at these prices...

Passover

2008-04-20T23:55:00.004-04:00

Being raised by an extremely religious woman, I've always been fairly curious about all religions. I know the basics of the various Christian religions, and now I'm figuring out some of the others. Thanks to some friends at NU, I now know a little about Mormons. I also know the basic differences between Judaism and Christianity, but I still don't really know the Jewish holidays. I always hoped that Corey would be able to help in this area, but she usually didn't know herself.

Passover was this past week and this peaked my curiosity again. Digging back to the years spent in Sunday school, I thought that Easter was based off of Passover because Jesus was killed at the end of it, or something like that. To validate by theory, I've asked about everyone I've talked to over the past couple of days. Sadly enough, no one was able to help. I find this disturbing for several reasons.

That people follow their own faith without knowing details or reasons
That people follow their faith without exploring other religions
That for some reason I am the only one interested in this - as in, what is wrong with me that I even care?

But, I do care. So here is the answer for anyone else who is interested:

The Last Supper was indeed the Passover; thus Holy Thursday, in the year that Christ was crucified, fell on Passover. That made Easter, the day that Christ rose from the dead, the Sunday after Passover.

Because Christians in different areas were celebrating Easter on different days, the Council of Nicaea, in A.D. 325, established a formula for calculating the date of Easter. That formula was designed to place Easter at the same point in the astronomical cycle every year; if followed, it would always place Easter on a Sunday after Passover. And indeed, that formula is still followed today.

Why, then, will Jews celebrate Passover beginning on April 19, 2008, while Western Christians will celebrate Easter on March 23?

The answer, is that, since the standardization of the Hebrew calendar in the fourth century A.D., "actual observations of celestial events no longer played a part in the determination of the date of Passover." Thus, "the rule for Passover, which was originally intended to track the vernal equinox, has gotten a few days off."

The same thing has happened with the Eastern Orthodox calculation of the date of Easter. Because the Eastern Orthodox still use the astronomically incorrect Julian calendar, rather than the Gregorian calendar that was adopted in the West in 1582, the Orthodox will celebrate Easter this year on April 27.

With the adoption of the Gregorian calendar, the West brought the calculation of Easter back into sync with the astronomical calendar. In other words, the Western date of Easter is the most closely aligned to the astronomical cycles on which the date of Passover is supposed to be based.

2008-04-18T18:15:00.002-04:00

cool website: http://producten.hema.nl/

2008-04-09T17:25:00.000-04:00

I didn't have time for breakfast this morning, but I figured I'd just eat something at my desk. I was actually really in the mood for those wheat thins R "bought" me last week. However, as I opened my drawer I saw they were missing again. I guess R bought them simply so they would be there when she wanted them again. I guess I shouldn't really hold a grudge; those sun dried tomato wheat thins are tasty. Sigh.

Flying Fruit

2008-04-04T22:07:00.002-04:00

As I'm sure all of you know, I have a bit of a temper and am fairly impatient. Experience has shown that both of these combined can lead to a serious case of road rage.

Obviously I hate driving to work - I bitch about it almost every chance I get. Well, today I decided to do a little more than bitching.

I threw fruit and passing cars. A banana to be exact.

You see, there is a particular section of the Kennedy where there is an on ramp on the left hand side. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue, but when traffic isn't moving, some asshole will get the bright idea to pass in it in an effort to save a few minutes. And, once one guy does it, 20 more follow right behind. And, the thing is, everybody knows that it's an on ramp and not a new lane - we all drive that road everyday.

So, I just wanted people to recognize that everyone knows that they know it's an on ramp. I'd already eaten most of the banana, so I only hit 2 cars with it (although the peel did land in a guys' truck bed). In reality, it would've been quicker if I had just switched lanes, but it was the principle of it.

The real upside of all of this is that my boss sat down and signed my telecommuting form promptly after I told her the story. I think she was worried I might end up getting shot or something...

Who does this?

2008-03-27T11:48:00.002-04:00

An email from Hillary (who works at Devry):

So, apparently someone at the Naperville location took a dump out side of the bathrooms on the floor. The office over there isn't desolate. There are A LOT of people on that floor. I can't believe anyone was able to do this and not be seen!!

Come again? Someone literally took a crap on the floor of the hallway?

I'm thinking maybe it was a dog. My boss brought in her dog 2 weeks ago and it wandered over to the other side of the building and took a huge crap. Best part is, Rhonda didn't know and left it sit for two days until people showed up on Monday morning. It's times like these when I'm extremely grateful that I'm not the office/building manager.

Gotta love the boss

2008-03-26T17:41:00.004-04:00

So Rhonda rolls in here today and throws me a brand new box of sun dried Wheat Thins.

I kind of look at her oddly and then it dawns on me that she ate the entire box I had stashed in my drawer while I was away at Vail. Honestly.

The funny thing is, I went to eat those on Monday and was thoroughly puzzled when there weren't there, which then led to a 5 minute mental dialogue about whether or not I had actually eaten them all. Obviously, I didn’t think that I had (not even close) but then finally decided that was the only real option. I mean, one wouldn’t think that there boss going through their cabinet drawers and finishing the entire box off would actually be an option, would they?

Kiss, Kiss

2008-03-10T22:45:00.003-04:00

Believe it or not, I’ve been at my job for nearly a year. At times I feel like I just left grad school and at others I feel like I’ve been at this hellhole for ever. Obviously, I no longer like my job, or the majority of the people who work there. And, the damn commute is enough to slowly drive me insane, literally. The one saving grace to this has been carpooling with Luda for the past 8 months or so. Seeing as how she is typically up for anything, we’ve managed to have our fair share of interesting moments out in the suburbs.

Thursday night commutes seem to be the worst for some reason, which in turn leads to our most random conversations – ranging anywhere from a game of “would you rather” to detailing out the advertising campaigns of our latest business venture.

Last Thursday we were simply out of topics – I suppose this is bound to happen when you spend a minimum of 10 hours a week, for 7 months straight with the same person. Anyway, Kristie asks me if I’ve ever made out with a girl, which then lead to a long discussion on what percentage of girls have actually made out with another girl. She was of the opinion that it was very high, while I held that it was fairly low. Seeing as how we were trapped in a car with no real way to explore this, I decided to text various friends in an effort to conduct my own poll.

I have to say, the initial results surprised me. 4 had made out with another girl, 4 had kissed another girl, and 1 refused to answer leading me to assume she had made out. And there was no one who had done nothing.

Always wanting to be extremely thorough in my research, the poll was kept up over the weekend, and made for excellent bar conversation. The more random people we asked at the bar, the more we heard that everyone makes out. And, this knowledge prompted Steve to encourage us to go ahead and make out with each other so that we kept up with the masses. Although I typically do succumb to peer pressure and love to fit in, for once my better judgment held firm and I decided that I was simply too old for such shenanigans.

Now if only I had remembered that I am too old to get wasted 2 nights in a row…

Another fabulous morning

2008-02-28T12:58:00.002-05:00

So I woke up at 5:58 this morning in a good mood all ready to go to the gym (anyone who knows me at all would realize how rare this is). Work out was fine, whatever.

Then I go to shower and realize I've grabbed a tiny towel that really doesn't cover my body – but whatever, not a big deal. I get out of the shower and begin to put on my clothes, only to realize I've forgotten both my underwear and socks. How does that happen???? So, I had to wash my underwear out in the sink and then use the hand dryer. Except, I got impatient and didn't dry it enough, so now I'm sitting here with damp underwear. And, what did I do about the socks. Well, I put the dirty ones back on and am wearing gym shoes with my dress pants. Quite the fashion statement. I actually wouldn't be all that surprised if someone actually complimented me on the outfit.

A little winter bitching

2008-02-10T23:11:00.000-05:00

Spring, can not get here soon enough. I don't know if I can handle winter for another month or so. I wonder if the groundhog saw his shadow?? Now, I do like winter, but only for a month. By January 1st, I'm ready for it to be over. And then about this time of year, the weather turns ridiculous and I begin to wonder why it is that I live here. There's cold, and then there is just unbearable weather. I feel like -35 is pretty much unbearable. Not to mention that so far this year we have already gotten more snow than the past 9 winters, and more is on the way. Last Sunday I was at the bar w/ Jeanna and there were a random group of guys (that didn't know each other) having a snowball fight for at least an hour - pretty comical. The snow days are also quite nice. In the past 2 weeks, my work has let us out early 4 times - Wednesday I only worked from 9:30 to 12. The snow has also caused parking to become a bit of a nuisance, although I've only managed to get my car stuck twice (each time some nice random man helped me get it out). The people in Nikki's neighborhood shovel out their spots and then mark them with lawn chairs, which is quite annoying when you finally think you've found a spot, only to learn it's already "reserved."

On other news, I've started playing Guitar Hero and have fallen in love. If I had money, I would totally go buy a system just to play it. This new found love has also caused me to start listening to rock a little bit more again. I forgot how much I used to like Rage.

Becca - ever the performer

2008-02-09T18:52:00.001-05:00

Check out this video: Becca the Performer

..

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Lovely Monday

2008-01-28T22:51:00.000-05:00

Picture this… it’s early on a cold, dreary Monday morning and you’re grudgingly making your way to work.

From a distance, you see an orangish piece of paper on your windshield. You think to yourself, “O hell no, I did not get another ticket – if those @sswholes gave me another ticket…” But as you walk closer you realize it is not a ticket and must be some flyer. Then you realize that there are no other cars around you with “flyers” and the mind begins to quickly ponder other possibilities, none of which are very good.

And then you notice something else on your windshield next to it, but you’re not quite sure what.

Thankfully, the perpetrator left a lovely note explaining...

I honestly think I stood there for a good 5 minutes trying to grasp the whole situation and then I just started laughing. I mean, what else can you do really. I do feel sorry for my poor car though - she really has been through a lot.

So, if you start to feel like you’re having a shitty week, just picture me literally wiping shit off my car on a Monday morning. Again, my life might as well be a Seinfeld episode.

A few things I've learned this week...

2008-01-25T14:50:00.001-05:00

It is possible for your hair to freeze in under 2 minutes.
The type of books someone reads might be a decent indicator of their character/personality
Make a "bucket list" to ensure you accomplish things before you die (Hill and I are going to combine lists and start tackling them together)
It is possible for your landlord to mess up your rent checks 4 out of 6 months
Dan is alive and doing well
The mail lady might not be that bad after all
Everyone secretly hates this job/company
Becca might actually be teachable concerning directions
Frozen lettuce is borderline disgusting (this one is key). Also, when vegetables freeze it tends to turn them brown...

2008-01-07T22:03:00.000-05:00

It is 9:00 pm and it is currently 54 degrees out. Yesterday's high was 60 degrees. How is that possible? This probably means that we're going to have a massive blizzard in March. I think I'd rather it be cold now and then get warm and stay warm.